Is this a good start?

[twistedhate17]

Look around. You can always spot at least one person walking down the street who appears to be 16-18. Then later on, you find out she is 13 or 14. This is happening more and more. Young teenagers are trying to grow up too fast.

I went out in search of young teenagers; it was amazing how many young teenagers you can see. When I went out to the mall, I was in search of someone that proves my point. This one girl was wearing an ultra mini skirt that went maybe an inch past her butt. She was also wearing a pink top that was see through so you could see her undergarments but also, it was unbelievably low-cut.

I think one of the reasons for this is the fact that stores display these kinds of clothes. Because these stores are meant for appealing to young people, designers are going to stick their clothing line in to the stores. Some of these stores are American Eagle, Aeropostale, and Hollister. If the designers put them in to the stores, teens are sure to buy them.

These stores carry the items that are considered ‘in’ and ‘popular’. The girls who shop at these stores, wear whatever is in the store no matter how degrading they appear. They don’t care how bad or ugly the clothes may be, as long as the clothes keep them in their popular group.

Many teens that enter high school, change their image to fit with their new found friends. My sisters friend, for example, used to dress preppy and then she met Alison and Adrianne changed her image from popular to emo/punk. She has even taken on the attitude even though every one knows this is not the real her and her friends are beginning to drop her. Adrianne does not care as long Alison, her best friend, is still her friend. “I’m afraid of losing her as my best friend, before I changed, we rarely hung out but I’ve always wanted to be her friend so I decided to change. Gave up my old ways to become the new me.”

Many kids see think that high school is there entrance into adulthood. In a quote by my sisters best friend, she says, “Suddenly it hit me; I am not longer in middle school; no longer a kid. This was my first day of my high school years. Most people wouldn’t understand, they say its just school, but I can’t wait to grow up.” On the contrary, many teenagers cannot wait to grow up.

In fact, I use to be like her but now that I am older, I’m realizing that I should have embraced the early years of my teenage life. I am seeing all the responsibilities that come with growing up.

[hey.hey.yall.]

this is really really good.i totally agree with everything that you have so far.at my school there are girls that wear low cut shirts with low cut tank tops under it.it can look really trashy sometimes. i wouldnt say that the stores are trashy or anything like that because i have had some younger judges wearing american eagle before so be careful with what you say when you say the stores only sell low cut shirts because they dont. good luck with the rest of your oratory.

[Supermax]

I think it is a good start. I don't know much about OO, for I haven't done any... yet, but I like it. Also, I suggest adding some stuff about media studies later in your whateveryoucallit (a speech?).

[hookem168]

It's a decent start/idea/concept. Keep in mind that fifty bazillion people have already done (and are doing) this topic. I probably saw at least 4 this year at nationals. Also, make sure to keep a nice balance between a conversational tone and eloquence. In other words, be careful about saying things like "a mini-skirt that went maybe an inch past her butt" and all that stuff about the top, etc. Make sure to revise, revise, revise as much as humanly possible, finding new, refreshing ways to express your ideas through metaphors, plays on words, alliteration, etc. You're on the right track, though!

[ncviking]

This is a decent start for an outline. You need to expand upon some of the points that you make and you need to fit them into a very clear intro-body-conclusion format.
For an introduction, this doesn't work, you do too much too soon, but you seem to be really into this topic and I think with some good coaching and work you could do well, despite the overkill of this topic.
PM me if you want a super-specific review. Good luck!

[OO Storyteller]

It's pretty good, I think you should add a "side standard" like...rejection is hard to take or something. The fear of rejection, or maybe the fear of standing out. This kinda sounds like an example. I don't know if this makes any sense.