You know those stupid questions you get in spam email or from friends who think they're being creative when they're being annoying? Well, here's a thread to pwn those idiots. HARD.
Here's how we do. Present a dumb question, and the correct answer.
Example: Why do you park in a driveway and park in a driveway?
Answer: Because that it what each is designed for. Also, driveways are used to drive towards a garage, and there's no reason you could not park in a parkway.
Here are some I found:
What disease did cured ham have?
None. "Cured" refers to how the ham was prepared, not an implication that it was previously diseased.
What color hair do bald men put on their driver's license?
Their hair color.
But they don't have hair! LOLOL!
Yes, they do. Just not on their head. Idiot.
How do you throw away a garbage can?
By placing it in a larger container used to place trash and other unneeded items in, which may be a larger trashcan, or any place in which trash is placed.
If everyone lost five pounds at the same time, would it throw the Earth out of orbit?
Extrememly doubtful. Regardless of how each five pounds were lost (conversion of fat into heat energy, amputation, etc.), the weight that was lost from each individual human would not leave the Earth itself, and therefore, the weight of the Earth would not change. Even if it were somehow possible to transfer 32,500,000,000 pounds (5 lbs. x 6.5 billion humans), this weight is insignificant in comparison to the total weight of the Earth itself (5.792 sextillion metric tons).
How did the "Keep Off The Grass" sign get there in the first place?
It was placed there by a human.