Stupid Questions, Smart Answers

[Chewie]

You know those stupid questions you get in spam email or from friends who think they're being creative when they're being annoying? Well, here's a thread to pwn those idiots. HARD.

Here's how we do. Present a dumb question, and the correct answer.

Example: Why do you park in a driveway and park in a driveway?
Answer: Because that it what each is designed for. Also, driveways are used to drive towards a garage, and there's no reason you could not park in a parkway.

Etc.

Here are some I found:

What disease did cured ham have?
None. "Cured" refers to how the ham was prepared, not an implication that it was previously diseased.

What color hair do bald men put on their driver's license?
Their hair color.
But they don't have hair! LOLOL!
Yes, they do. Just not on their head. Idiot.

How do you throw away a garbage can?
By placing it in a larger container used to place trash and other unneeded items in, which may be a larger trashcan, or any place in which trash is placed.

If everyone lost five pounds at the same time, would it throw the Earth out of orbit?
Extrememly doubtful. Regardless of how each five pounds were lost (conversion of fat into heat energy, amputation, etc.), the weight that was lost from each individual human would not leave the Earth itself, and therefore, the weight of the Earth would not change. Even if it were somehow possible to transfer 32,500,000,000 pounds (5 lbs. x 6.5 billion humans), this weight is insignificant in comparison to the total weight of the Earth itself (5.792 sextillion metric tons).

How did the "Keep Off The Grass" sign get there in the first place?
It was placed there by a human.

[Dern]

Should vegetarians eat anmial crackers?
The consumption of anmial crackers by those of the vegetarian persuasion is neither forwned upon nor contradictory to the vegetarian belief. In fact, the main ingredients of anmial crackers include enriched wheat, flour, sugar, highfructose corn syrup, vegetable shortening, whey, salt, baking soda, and artifical flavor, of which none are animal or carnivorous products.

[Aelfric5578]

Do seemstresses sew in sewers
Usually not, it just so happens that the French word for conduit sounded a lot like the Old English word siowian - to sew. And they're pronounced so much differently because of a little something called the Great Vowel Shift. Anyone who saw my 2004-5 oratory should know what I'm talking about.

[theatrix04]

[/b]Teacher: "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"

Pupil: "The moon".
Teacher: "Why?"
Pupil: "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".

[nirorivers6]

wow. that is probably one of the dumbest thins i've heard. where'd you get that?

[theatrix04]

wow. that is probably one of the dumbest thins i've heard. where'd you get that?

I Googled "Some dumb questions smart answers"
http://www.errorforum.com/fun-n-ligh...t-answers.html

Another one I like:

"Do I have to turn in the lab assignment at the end of the period?"
"No, you don't have to unless you intend to fail this class."

[Chewie]

"Do I have to turn in the lab assignment at the end of the period?"
"No, you don't have to unless you intend to fail this class."

The teacher's being the idiot in this one...since it's implied that turning in the assignment would result in failing. :P

[devileyes]

I don't quite see how it is implied...and why would turning in the assignment fail him? Explain? (Smart answer required)

[Chewie]

You just answered your own question, smart guy. But you knew that.

[Aelfric5578]

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

Probably, because they still wound't be making signs for the employers that the are on strike to inconvenience.

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Bad marketing. Honestly, would you buy it for your cat?