Corrupt a Wish

[<3]

Corrupt a Wish

for example:

poster 1: I wish for a dog.

next poster could say somthing like:

poster 2: You can have the dog but it will have rabies. [followed by a wish]



I wish to have the ability to fly.

[ce.extemper]

You can fly but you'll be a vulture.

I wish I had an iPhone

haha

[<3]

u'll get an iphone but it will turn into a killer squirrel after a week

[ce.extemper]

Well that'll suck.

I wish I was friends with the Time Magazine editors

[<3]

lol u can be friends with the people of Time however they willuse u to get coffee

i wish i could sing

[ce.extemper]

Coffee? Thats all? Well I'm in :D

And you can sing, but you'll also become a smoker and lose your voice

[<3]

HAHA that's unfortunate

i wish there was really cool toothpaste

[ce.extemper]

You can have really cool toothpaste, but it'll still give you cavities

I wish I didn't have to worry about school

[<3]

you dont have to worry about speech therefore u wont do well haha

i wish i could do debate.

[ce.extemper]

You can do debate, namely policy, but you'll lose your soul

[<3]

lol i still dont know what that is


i wish there was a school of forensics

[ce.extemper]

There will be a school of forensics, but it'll turn into Oprah's school in Africa

[<3]

LOL

dude add "i wish..." hahahhaha


i wish for gum that doesnt lose flavor

[ce.extemper]

You can have that gum, but it'll cause cancer

I wish Barack Obama fails in his quest for the presidency

[<3]

obama shall fail however his identical twin with the same policies will replace him

i wish i knew something about the elections

[ce.extemper]

**** it, i knew that'd happen.

You can know about politics, but you'll become an extemper :D

I wish I could do a good HI piece

[<3]

i'd be like a complete disgrace to the extemp society if i did hahahahaha


u can be good at HI however ur piece will turn into an extemp speech


i wish i had a new speech outfit

[Ryan]

You could do a good HI piece, but you'll break both ankles popping too quickly in a final round.

I wish I could run a marathon.

[ce.extemper]

You can have a new speech outfit, but it'll be an ugly color.

I wish I didn't have to go to class

[<3]

HAHAHA


u can run a marthon but will die of dehydration


i wish i could go to disney right now

[Ryan]

You can go to Disney right now, but you'll have to pay upwards of $1000 to get there. Plane tickets are ridiculous!

I wish I could go see my girlfriend in Nepal.

[<3]

lol
u can see ur gf in nepal but she will have another guy ( =[ )


i wish CFLs was right now.

[Ryan]

Oh that was a bit on the mean side.

CFLs could be right now, but your plane crashes on the way there. You survive, but are severely mangled for the rest of your life. Oh the irony of losing your ability to speak on the way to a speech tournament.

I wish I could skip going to my Corporate Finance class and just get an immediate A.

[<3]

LOLJ DLFJAJF;LASJFLAKJDFL hahhahahhahahaha



u can do that.... but u'll have to retake the course in which u will fail?? lol

i wish i was allowed to text

[ce.extemper]

You can text but it'll cost you more than you can pay for.

I wish I had a decent phone

[<3]

you can have a decent phone but it will cause automatic global warming and everyone will die.


i wish i didnt have to go to bed soon

[ce.extemper]

You can stay up but you'll become an insomniac

I wish I didn't have to go to work

[<3]

you dont have to go towork but u will have to eat molded cheese

i wish all my hw was done

[ce.extemper]

All your hw can be done, but it won't be right

And I'd eat molded cheese to get out of work lol

I wish that I had hot water to go take a shower

[<3]

lol that's unfortunate
you can have hot water but it will be mixed with acid.

i wish there was something edible in my house

[ce.extemper]

There is something edible in your house but they're sardines lol

I wish I had some Starbucks

[cseg]

you can have starbucks but it will give you diarrhea haha!!

i wish i was white....

[ce.extemper]

Well it didn't this morning so I rest my case...

And you can be white, but then affirmative action stops working for you

I wish the spanish language would just go away

[cseg]

the spanish language would go away but you would have to take another foreign language

i wish i could go to finals at nats

[ce.extemper]

You can go to finals at nats, but your going to get into an accident and not be able to compete.

I wish foreign language was but a thing of the past and everyone just spoke english

[cseg]

everyone spoke english but everyone spoke diffrent dialects

i wish hillary would drop out of the race

[ce.extemper]

Well we already do cseg :P

And Hillary can drop out of the race, but John McCain will win against Obama

I wish ties were more abundant

[cseg]

ties would be more abudent but they would all be two inches long

i wish i could give the speech at graduation

[ce.extemper]

You could give the speech at graduation, but you'd have to have good grades and respect :P

I wish I could get a break

[montypython]

You can have a break but you're going to have to quit all your summer plans.

I wish I could not move.

[ce.extemper]

You can not move and stay put, but she'll leave you

I wish math was easier

[cseg]

math can be easyer but english and social studies will be much harder

i wish i have both girls

[ce.extemper]

Thats fine with me :P

And you can have both girls, but one will break your heart and leave you with the feeling of loneliness forever

I wish it could happen

[cseg]

it will happen but you will catch a STD!!

i wish i had money

[ce.extemper]

You can have money, but you'll need to "work" for it

I wish I didn't have this **** hw to do

[montypython]

You will have money but that requires becoming a homo porn star.

I wish essays could write themselves.

[cseg]

thay will write them selfs but you would always get a F

i wish i could play guitar

[ce.extemper]

You can play guitar, but you'll be playing on the streets for money

I wish life would get easier

[cseg]

life would get easier but then you would die

[montypython]

Life will get easier but you will get no where you want to in life.

I wish I could not.

[ce.extemper]

Well you could not but you would end up doing.

I wish this would stop

[johnnn]

i wish i wasnt so confused about this thread

[ce.extemper]

haha but if you weren't so confused, you'd be part of this mess

I wish I had a coffee

[montypython]

Could have a coffee but would have to watch two girls and a cup while drinking it.

[cseg]

i wish i could have a six pack

[ce.extemper]

You can have a sixpack........ of soda!!!

I wish good luck to you all

[rafekett]

We can all have good luck, but that will lead us to become overconfident in our luck and eventually get into TERRIBLE accidents.

I wish one of my colleges would win a championship.

[ce.extemper]

One of your colleges can win a championship but then a drug scandal will hit striping them of their title.

I wish I could meet Steve Jobs

[<3]

you can meet steve jobs but he will rape you.

i wish i would be able to be on this site for the next two days =[

[ce.extemper]

Well it is Steve Jobs so... lol

And you can stop by the site sometime in the next two days but then you'd get in trouble.

I wish things wouldn't be so complicated

[<3]

i should be studying right now...


life will be less complicated however it will be boring

i wish i could go on my trampoline

[ce.extemper]

I should be in ROTC but I'm "working" at math homework.

You can go on your trampoline, but you'll break a leg.

I wish I didn't have to do math homework

[cseg]

you dont have to do math homework but you will fail the class

i wish i could meet a nice girl at nationals

[rezeewnaf]

You can meet a nice girl at nationals, but she'll win and dump you because she's out of your league now.


I wish my back didn't hurt all the time.

[montypython]

You will meet a nice girl at nationals unfortunately you will have to pay for her by the hour.

I wish I could not be tired.

[ce.extemper]

You can not be tired but you won't care about anything

I wish quitting was easy

[rafekett]

quitting could be easy, but then your drug dealer would be broke

i wish that the NBA was less greedy

[ce.extemper]

The NBA could be less greedy but the games would suck more

I wish I could find my flash drive

[montypython]

You could find your flash drive but you'd lose your external hard drive.

I wish I could figure out what to do

[ce.extemper]

You can know what to do, but you'll still have to move :P

I wish I didn't have a strict Dad

[montypython]

You can not have a strict dad but that means you won't have a dad

I wish I could....

[cseg]

you could ..... but would get caught and go to jail of a long time seeing as that ..... is illegal lol

i wish time would slow down

[Amber_rebmA]

Time will slow down but the days will be shorter.

I wish there was a professional forensics league...

[ce.extemper]

There could be a professional forensics league, but it would cost so much that it wouldn't be worth it.

I wish schedules always worked out

[montypython]

Schedules would always work out but then there wouldn't be anything to do.

I wish headaches never happened

[ce.extemper]

Headaches could never happen but then that pain would be in your legs

[<3]

dude add a wish lol

[ce.extemper]

lol whoops, I was in a rush to class when I did that one

I wish I could meet Jon Stewart

[rezeewnaf]

You could meet Jon Stewart, but he's so short you'll probably smoosh him.


I wish I didn't have to do my German final

[insightful]

You don't have to take your German final, but you fale the class.

I wish i had $50.

[<3]

u can have $50 but tiny microorganims will devour it the second u get it =]

i wish i was part of blue man group

[insightful]

You can be apart of the blue man group, but you would be green.

I wish I didn't have to write my essay tonight.

[ce.extemper]

You don't have to write that paper, but once again, the recurring theme is that you'll fail the class.

I wish that things could be less nerveracking

[insightful]

Things could be less nerveracking, but you would have a constant headache.

I wish I hadn't broke my phone.

[Sam8700]

You could get a new and better phone, only it would have to be the color you hate.

I wish I didn't fall out my window

[insightful]

You didn't fall out your window, but you still have you injury.

I wish I had enough money to by a wireless router.

[rezeewnaf]

you could have enough money to buy a wireless router, but after you install it your ethernet cords will be strewn about your floor because you were so excited to get them out and the router running, and you will consistently forget to move them, causing you to eventually trip over them and sprain your ankle.


I wish I could find an allergy medicine that would make me feel healthy.

[insightful]

You could find an allergy medicine that would make me feel healthy, but if would cause you to break out with a horrible rash.

I wish I didn't have to take my final exams.

[j.cole]

You don't have to take finals!!...but you will fail out of school and become homeless :(

I wish I was Harry Potter!

[rezeewnaf]

You could be Harry Potter, but countless American citizens would burn you in effigy because of their extreme religious beliefs. Plus you'd have a hideous scar on your head.


I wish I had a tall glass of ice water right now

[Schadillac]

You can have a tall glass of ice water, but you'll have to wash it down with a tall glass of concentrated hydrochrloric acid.

I wish I was Will Smith.

[rezeewnaf]

You could be Will Smith, but you'd be out-adorabled by your children in your movies.


I wish there were no mosquitos

[insightful]

There aren't any mosquitos, but flies are 100 times as big.

I wish I didn't have to go to school tomorrow

[rezeewnaf]

You don't have to go to school tomorrow, but Oprah will show up and give out free stuff and you'll be the only one to miss out.


I wish I had a fan for my room for humid days like this

[insightful]

You have a fan in your room, but it malfunctions and produces hurricane type winds that destroys your room.

I wish I had a satellite dish that didn't go out when it rained.

[rezeewnaf]

You could have a satellite dish that doesn't go out when it rains, but it will go out in every other kind of weather.


I wish I could be as witty as Jon Stewart

[insightful]

You can be as witty as Jon Stewart, but you have the IQ of Forest Gump.

I wish I could make a decent meal.

[Schadillac]

You could make a decent meal, but you couldn't taste or smell it because you lost your tongue and nose in 'Nam.

I wish for eternal happiness (corrupt this one, suckas!)

[rkrboi]

You can have eternal happiness but you will be trapped in a cardboard box for ALLL ETERNITY!!!!! (I believe I just killed that one!)


I wish that I could get first place at nationals in LD debate.

[rezeewnaf]

You could get first place at nationals in LD Debate but you'd win by default because everyone else had the stomach flu and your award would crumble to a thousand pieces once you touch it.


I wish the weather wouldn't be so crappy on the day of my graduation.

[insightful]

The weather won't be crappy on the day of your graduation, but every day after that would be crappy to the 5th power squared.


I wish I wasn't sick.

[rezeewnaf]

You could not be sick, but everyone you know will get the plague.


I wish real life driving was more like Mario Kart.

[Interpret]

Real life driving is more like Mario Kart, but you constantly get hit by shells and lightning, and always finish 2nd- while Bowser steals your girl-OR WORSE, Bowser steals your man.

I wish Nickelodeon and Disney Channel didn't suck anymore.

[rkrboi]

They won't suck, but monkeys will take over the world and force you to be their *** slaves!!



I wish my mom would stop hitting me.

[Interpret]

Your mom will stop hitting you, but instead she'll start babying you until you become a pansy (or more so) and your lack of bruises causes bullies to pick fights with you- and when you finally get the nerve to hit back, you get a lucky punch- BUT THEN a UFC scout sees you and signs you to a fight, in which you get hit once, and die.

I wish 5-hour energy didn't taste like my dreams dying.

[Solid Bob]

5 hour energy doesnt taste like dreams dying, but your nightmares come alive.

I wish i could dunk.

[insightful]

You can dunk, but only on a 6ft. basketball hoop.


I wish I always made the right decisions.

[rezeewnaf]

You can always make the right decision, but you will only have one decision to make: kill or be killed.


I wish I could understand what the big deal about Harry Potter is.

[rkrboi]

You can understand, but you don't understand what the big deal is about food any more.



I wish I had more money.

[rezeewnaf]

You could have more money, but it will explode whenever you try to spend it.


I wish President Bush would chest bump with me...

[toolenduso]

President Bush chest bumps you, just as he is getting shot through the chest by an assassin.

I wish I had won congress more...

[Aelfric5578]

You will win every congress tournament you ever go to, but only because you're coach is secretly working to disqualify all of your opponents.

I wish that we could find a cure for world hunger.

[Schadillac]

You can find a cure for world hunger, but you'll end up losing the little beauty pagent that you must be competing in with a cheesy wish like that.

I wish that my life had theme music. :)

[OO Storyteller]

You can have theme music in your life, but it will eventually become boring.


I wish I was in a hot tub.

[rezeewnaf]

You could be in a hot tub, but a tribal warrior will come by and start chopping up carrots and onions and make a soup out of you fit for mighty Kong.


I wish Jiminy Cricket was here to sing about how to make a wish.

[LightningAnkh51]

You can have Jiminy Cricket but he'lls sing off-key...and with no rhymes.

I wish I could find anything I lose instantly by snapping my fingers.

[OO Storyteller]

You could find anything lost by snapping fingers, but what you find will be a hallucination.


I wish a had cake and could eat it too.

[rkrboi]

Sorry, that's simply impossible. Genies can't do that, and neither can forensic people.

I wish I had 10 more wishes.

[OO Storyteller]

I'm sorry, you simply can't have 10. Not even a genie could make 10 (only 3) and not forensics people either.


I wish points were given out just for being devoted to forensics.

[rkrboi]

That will happen, but then football will take over the world. (Or George Bush.)


I wish I could meet Tom Finley.

[OO Storyteller]

You could meet Tom Finley, but he'll make you feel a lot smaller than him.

I wish that I could float in outer space.

[MackAttack]

You could float in outer space, but you won't have a suit on, so you'd die.

I wish this game would stop.

[OO Storyteller]

This game could stop, but another would start

I wish also that this game would stop

[rezeewnaf]

You could also wish this game would stop, but you'd be run out of town for your repetitious ways.


I wish those emoticons on the side of the screen when you post a reply would speak in the emotion they are portraying.

[cseg]

the emoticons would speak but it would give your computer a virus

i wish i could have a cell proccesser in my computer

[OO Storyteller]

You could have a cell proccessor, but it would corrupt itself.

I wish I was in Forensics for another year...

[KY Acid Trip]

Your wish has been granted, but your school bus crashes on the way to your first tournament and everyone dies. How sad. :(

I wish nothing would go right ever again in the world... like seriously, i wish nothing good would EVER happen.



=] Corrupt that one.

[rezeewnaf]

You could live in a world where nothing good would ever happen, but eventually bad action would no longer be considered bad and everyone would perceive that they lived in a world where everything good always happens.


I wish I could think of a more creative wish

[lifesaspeech]

You think of a more creative wish in which you are ultimately faced by a paradox for wishing a wish and are therefore engulfed by a black hole.





I wish I was ambidextrus.

[oHIo]

You become ambidextrous but both your hands are cut off in a freak accident.

I wish I could change TV channels with my mind.

[lifesaspeech]

You can change channels with your mind... but there's STILL nothing on.




I wish everything was free.

[sjscott12]

Everything is free, but it's made in child-labor factories.

I wish I was Chuck Norris' Son.

[Schadillac]

You could be Chuck Norris' son, but he'd punish you every day with a roundhouse kick to the face. And you'd have to listen to those horrible Chuck Norris jokes for the rest of your life.

I wish that I was a Blue Man.

[sjscott12]

This one should be obvious, you can be a blue man, but the group won't let you join

I wish I could travel the world

[lifesaspeech]

You can travel the world, but due to rising gas prices you have to walk the whole way. Yes... even across oceans... good luck with that!



I wish I could be a superhero!

[Interpret]

You are a superhero, but you're an incredibly lame one called "Parking Meter Man."


I wish college and high school speech were the same.

[rkrboi]

There the same, but you can't be a part of them. :)


I wish interpret wouldn't call me peepee face.

[lifesaspeech]

He wouldn't call you a peepee face, but you actually WILL be a peepee face.




I wish money grew on trees.

[Interpret]

It grows on trees, but you can only rake it, and not have any.

I wish Abba wrote our national anthem.

[Jolt]

You could be a superhero, but you would have Mr. Fantastic's powers, and we know he's the lamest of the Fantastic Four






I wish I owned a giraffe

[rezeewnaf]

You could own a giraffe, but it would have a sore throat.
...and it would work the streets at night for only 10 leaves a pop


I wish this porn virus that got into this site would knock it off.

[Chewie]

The virus no longer interrupts you, because it breaks your computer permanently.

I wish Americans weren't so content with being so stupid.

[sjscott12]

Americans wouldn't be content that they were stupid, they would just be ignorant.

I wish I had a beard.

[rkrboi]

You'll have a beard... That's dyed rainbow!!! MWAHAHAHA!



ahem. I wish I could speak to animals.

[MackAttack]

You can speak to animals, but they won't talk back.

I wish I had the new Coldplay album.

[rezeewnaf]

You could have the new Coldplay album, but then you'd be stuck with a Coldplay CD.


I wish college wasn't so expensive.

[insightful]

College isn't expensive, but you have to pay $500 a years for Elementary-High school schooling.

I wish my summer break wasn't so boring.

[rkrboi]

Your summer break isn't so boring, but it lasts only an hour.


I wish I could party like its 1972!

[sjscott12]

You can party like it's 1972...in Sri Lanka

I wish I put the MWAGHANICA in forMWAGHANICArensics

[lifesaspeech]

You put the MWAGHANICA in forMWAGHANICArensics, cept that really means that you are a serial killer and you get sentenced to life.





I wish people threw parties for me every night!

[rezeewnaf]

People could throw parties for you every night, but no one would talk to you.


I wish dozens of doves were released every time I entered a room.

[Interpret]

Dozens of doves are released every time you enter a room, but Daniel Tosh makes it so you only enter one room from now on, the pit of death. But it will be f**cking beautiful.



I wish Dan Brown had a book that didn't have the same ending.

[rezeewnaf]

Dan Brown could write a book with a different ending, but the book would be about you, and the end would be your death. Much like in Stranger Than Fiction.


I wish Dairy Queen wasn't so bad for me

[insightful]

Dairy Queen isn't bad for you but, you now have lactose intolerance, and therefore can't eat dairy products anyway.


I wish I didn't have to baby-sit my insane niece's

[Interpret]

You don't have to babysit your insane nieces,
But you go insane from babysitting oddly quiet children.

I wish more people saw the good in others.

[iluvrascalflatts]

"I wish more people saw the good in others-
they will see the good in everyone... except you!

I wish that I could have a pet hippogriff (like from Harry Potter) :)

[allgiants20]

You can have a pet hippogriff, but it won't be able to fly, thus completely eliminating its coolness

I wish I was on The Simpsons

[iluvrascalflatts]

I wish I was on the Simpsons... oh you will, but you'll be killed off by Bart in the first two minutes of your first-appearance episode.

I wish I had long deep-red hair like Ariel from "The Little Mermaid".

[allgiants20]

You can have Ariel hair, but only because it turns red from bleeding from your scalp

I wish I was a kangaroo

[iluvrascalflatts]

I wish I was a kangaroo... you'll be one, but you'll be a sad, depressed loser-one that is kept in a cage and used for kangaroo-boxing-against-people fights. (I saw a duo on a guy fighting a kangaroo once- it was... interesting)

I wish that I had something to do all of my homework for me!

[allgiants20]

I'd love to be one of those kangaroos! And same here... someone will do all of your homework, but it will be done by someone who only speaks Swahili.

I wish that I had a pool filled with chocolate pudding

[iluvrascalflatts]

I wish I had a pool full of chocolate pudding... but it will be chocolate-covered-coakroach-flavored.

I wish I had Disneyland in my backyard...

[allgiants20]

I wish I had Disneyland in my backyard... but the only ride that ever works is the Hall of Presidents.

I wish I could beatbox

[Aequaleis]

You can beatbox, but everytime you open your mouth an angel will cry.

I wish Britney Spears will come out with a better CD.

[allgiants20]

Britney Spears will come out with a better CD, but everyone's ears will fall off before they can ever listen to it.

I wish I could give a mouse a cookie without it wanting a glass of milk.

[iluvrascalflatts]

I wish I could give a mouse a cookie without it asking for a glass of milk to go with it... well, everytime you give a mouse a cookie, it'll ask for another one for its friend, Mouse (who will ask for a glass of milk... and so on)

I wish that I was a movie star.

[allgiants20]

You can be a movie star, but only in movies on Lifetime that are based on your own life experiences.

I wish I could speak fluent moron.

[Shae_09]

well sure speak fluent in moron..but then it would become your first language and you would become the new target for smart kids everywhere

I wish i could be an extemper

[Greater Tuna]

You can be an extemper... but know that you are the brunt of all of the speech and debate jokes. Besides, extempers aren't people. JK

I wish, i could marry AMY WINEHOUSE

[iluvrascalflatts]

I wish I could marry AMY WINEHOUSE... and she'll die a half hour after the ceremony is over.

I wish that I had pink skinny jeans.

[allgiants20]

You can have pink skinny jeans, but they would only have one pants leg.

I wish I could dunk a basketball.

[iluvrascalflatts]

You'll be able to dunk a basketball but only when someone else is holding you up to reach the hoop. (in other words, you're not going to grow more)

I wish that I could win every speech tournament I go to, any event, guaranteed.

[allgiants20]

You can win every speech tournament in any event, but your school won't go to states or nationals anymore.

I wish I was the Earl of Sandwich.

[Greater Tuna]

You can win every speech tournament you go to in any event, garunteed [or your money back] but you will go to speech tournament with the same piece or topic EVERY WEEKEND FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE without missing one.

I wish i could find a perfect piece for humor next year.

[x3sUbE.eL.vOluMeN.x3]

you could find the perfect humor piece but you'll still suck (jk lol)


i wish my hair would stay in a pony tail during tournaments and not fall into my face.

[allgiants20]

Your hair could stay in a pony tail and not fall into your face, but you'll also have a mohawk.

I wish I could have a perfect poker face.

[brandondaley37]

You could have the perfect poker face, but you also will be liked by your peers.

I wish my body didn't provoke dry heaving from the majority of people who see me naked.

[allgiants20]

Your naked body won't provoke dry heaving, but it will provoke bleeding from the eyeballs.

I wish I could be a matador.

[iluvrascalflatts]

You will be a matador but a bull will eat you during your on-the-job training.

I wish I could be a hobo.

[allgiants20]

You can be a hobo, but you won't have a bindle or a hobo knife. So you'll be the boring kind of hobo.

I wish I had a nickel for every time I wished I had a nickel.

[iluvrascalflatts]

Then you'd be as rich as Mr. Body in Clue and someone would marry you (mrs. Peacock) and kill you right after in order to inherit all of your money.

I wish that I owned the whole chain of Target stores. :)

[allgiants20]

You can own the whole chain of Target stores, but it will be the Target French Antique chain of stores.

I wish I could drive the Millennium Falcon to school.

[iluvrascalflatts]

You can drive the Millenium Falcon to school but you'll get into a crash with Boba Fett's "Slave 1" and your ship will be destroyed.:(

I wish I was a princess...:D

[The Alex]

You can be a princess, but you will be forever trapped in a Taylor Swift music video.

I wish for an incorruptable wish :D

[iluvrascalflatts]

Your wish will remain incorruptable until someone decides to post to this thread:p

I wish that I could go to Egypt...

[The Alex]

You can go to Egypt, but you will get attacked by a cranky mummy
And there will be no Brendan Frasier to recue you o.O

I wish for a planet to be named after me!

[iluvrascalflatts]

the planet named after you will only be a dwarf planet, not a REAL one.

I wish that I could drive a go-kart without crashing (and I'm dead serious about this wish:))

[SageShadows]

You can drive a go-kart, but it'll die out on you as you're racing in the NGKC (The National Go-Kart Championship, duh! :D )
I wish that I had a flying squirrel that wouldn't assault me.

[iluvrascalflatts]

Your flying squirrel won't assault you but your sugar glider (the Australian equivalent of a flying squirrel... sort of) will.

I wish that I could be invisible on demand...

[allgiants20]

You can be invisible on demand, but only when other people demand it.

I wish I was Edward Scissorhands.

[iluvrascalflatts]

you can be Edward Scissorhands but you'll cut yourself a lot and end up cutting Davy Jones and then he'll get really mad at you and chuck you into his "locker".

I wish I had a six-volume autobiography published (JK)

[allgiants20]

You can have a six-volume autobiography published, but five of those volumes will pertain to the wallpaper in your guest room.

I wish I could punch Alex Trebek in the face.

[acon11]

You can punch Alex Trebek, but Pat Sajak will come in and beat you up on live television.

I wish it were impossible for me to drown.

[iluvrascalflatts]

you can't drown but you can burn :(

I wish that I could play the organ.

[allgiants20]

You could play the organ, but people will think it's weird why you're using a pancreas as a musical instrument.

I wish I was a bald eagle.

[iluvrascalflatts]

you can be the bald eagle on the quarter.

I wish I had Steven Spielberg's mad editing skills (currently I'm compiling video clips I've taken throughout the speech season to make a video for my coach's retirement party/awards dessert).

[allgiants20]

You can have Spielberg's editing skills, but also the broken home he grew up in... wow that one actually made me sad...

I wish I could telepathically google things.

[iluvrascalflatts]

If you telepathically google things then you will be tormented by mobs of jealous individuals who want to download that same app for their brains.

I wish that everyone in the world was happy.

[allgiants20]

Everyone in the world can be happy, but eventually everyone being so **** happy will start to piss you off.

I wish that dogs could speak Spanish.

[iluvrascalflatts]

Dogs can speak Spanish but you won't be able to understand them.

I wish that I had a Lofthouse cookie right now...

[allgiants20]

You can have a Lofthouse cookie, but you'd suddenly be allergic to it.

I wish Scrubs would have another season (and I mean with the normal cast).

[iluvrascalflatts]

Yeah you can have another season but your TV satellite connection will be mysteriously broken by a band of freaky freshman with a lacrosse stick....

I wish that it was snowing!

[allgiants20]

It can be snowing but it won't stick.

I wish I could eat grass and it would taste like pumpkin pie.

[iluvrascalflatts]

the grass will taste like pumpkin pie but it'll be burnt.

I wish that the school week was over.

[allgiants20]

the school week can be over but the weekend will only be one day.

I wish that there was a Wendy's in my basement.

[iluvrascalflatts]

the wendys' in your basement will only serve dishes suspiciously like those that your mom (or dad) cooks everyday...

I wish I had a wand...

[allgiants20]

your wand will in no way be magical.

I wish I had a litter of puppies.

[iluvrascalflatts]

you can have a litter of puppies but after day one they will turn into a whining litter of muskrats.

I wish that I had an unlimited amount of iTunes gift cards (yes, ones that have a money value attached to them)...

[allgiants20]

all of your iTunes gift cards will only be able to pay for Rascal Flatts musics. Rascal Flatts sucks.

I wish that that guy who was looking for his script finds it.

[iluvrascalflatts]

(Me too, I feel really bad for him... I would hate myself if I lost my script and I would hate my duo partner if she lost our script :))

He'll be able to find his script but it'll be written in invisible ink and the people who need to verify the script is a true published work won't be able to read it.

I wish that I had one of those whips like Indiana Jones.

[allgiants20]

You can have a whip like Indiana Jones, but it will only whip you.

I wish that I was Stephen Colbert.

[iluvrascalflatts]

you can be Steven Colbert but your sense of humor/satiristic humor will desert you the minute you walk on camera.

I wish that I had hair like Princess Leia's.

[allgiants20]

you can have hair like Princess Leia's but it will be blue.

I wish I never had to sleep but was always rested.

[iluvrascalflatts]

You'll always be rested... but so rested that all you do is sluggishly move around and sit in a chair all day.

I wish that I could qual for Nationals in every event! (That would be pure domination)

[allgiants20]

You can qual for Nationals in every event, but you'll lose all your scripts and won't be allowed to compete. (I seriously hope that guy finds his script. That really sucks)

I wish that I could play the tuba in a rock band.

[iluvrascalflatts]

You can play the tuba for a rock band but they will cut you from their final cutting before they release the record so you'll only have demo tapes to prove you played a tuba for a... rock band?!?I wish that it was next year speech season already!!!

[Superextempman]

Litlle do you know your coach gets fired, and gets replaced by someone that has no clue about coaching and you get strep throat the day before all your tournaments.
I wish I was in college already

[iluvrascalflatts]

(Actually, your post almost made me cry- our coach is retiring, and our assistant coach who was going to take over the coaching postition got laid off today along with TWELVE OTHER TEACHERS because of the stupid budget cuts. The only reason why our coach was laid off is because the board basically kept all the teachers, whether they could teach or not, who had senority. And it's not like we're going to get a replacement coach, they don't have the $$$ for it- cheapos. We're having an emergency speech officer meeting today to figure out if we can have speech or not next season-- our coach is willing to coach us but we won't have ASB funding & backing... I'm soooo worried that it's not funny:bawling:)

You can be in college already but you'll get stuck with professors who can't teach to save their lives, a dorm that has a water pipe break the first week into the semester (no running water for a while!), and will room with someone who snores. Loudly.

I wish that my coach was re-hired.

[ummmmmm12]

You go to rehine your coach but find out that your coach was already hired by your rival school and now u lose every tournament to them.

I wish that I had a better wish than this

[iluvrascalflatts]

Your wish will be so awesome that it will discourage other posters so this thread will die out.

I wish that it was lunch already.

[Meggie Moo]

it's lunch all ready but dinner will never come. I wish that I was at the beach.

[iluvrascalflatts]

You can be at the beach but you'll get stuck at one up here in OR where there's wind, cold, rain and more wind... and worstest of all, the waves are freezing cold. You practically get hypothermia when you just think about bodysurfing.

I wish that I could eat as much as I want and never get sick from it!

[ummmmmm12]

You eat as much as you want, and become severely, severely, severely overweight-- so much so that your couch breaks when you sit on it and when you hit the floor it breaks too and you fall to your death. (wow... I would feel horrible if that actually happened)

I wish that the chicken didn't cross the road.

[SageShadows]

The chicken doesn't cross the road, but instead, a tank does and runs over your car/bike/transportation device.
As well as your prom date.

I wish that I could inspire people to do good.

[allgiants20]

You could inspire people to do good, but they would lack the capacity to do so.

I wish I was as fast as a racehorse.

[MPHS_IE_Hoke]

You can be as fast as a racehorse, but you will break your legs in a race and have to be put to sleep.

I wish I could not get sick for a long time.

[allgiants20]

You could not get sick for a long time, but once you get sick it'll be a new disease that will be named after you.

I wish I could wear a cape without looking like an idiot.

[SageShadows]

You can wear a cape without looking like an idiot, but you'll be sucked into a giant fan and be mercilessly shredded. (Incredibles anyone?)

I wish I could believe it's not butter.

[allgiants20]

You could believe it's not butter, but it will no longer be butter, but instead horse manure.

I wish I could lift things with my mind.

[iluvrascalflatts]

The things you lift with your mind will fall and crush you.... but you'll still be alive just the part of your brain that controls telekinetic stuff will be damaged irrevocably...

I wish that rain was Sprite...

[allgiants20]

The rain could be Sprite but it will be too flat to be good to drink.

I wish I could be my own duo partner.

[iluvrascalflatts]

(me too)...
You'll try to Xerox yourself so you can have a copy of yourself as a duo partner but you'll get stuck in the Xeroxing machine and it'll just keep making copies of you forever and ever and ever........ and you'll never get out so you'll get no-shows on all your dual ballots.

I wish that my health final project was completed so I didn't have to (try to) work on it now...

[Greater Tuna]

Your health final project was completed so you didn't have to work on it now, but it turns out the teacher told you it was amazing and wanted to take it to a health teachers' conference in alabama where you'll be given a nobel peace prize for your "work"....then they'll realize you're a faker and put your head on a stake.

I wish I could win a macbook pro from this facebook application for big contests.

[GregBernstein]

You'll win a macbook pro but it will be filled with viruses.

I wish my phone would work.

[Alive_In_Wonderland]

Your phone would work, but then I would steal it.

I wish I had purple eyes and silver hair.

[XxConquitoxX]

Your phone would work, but then I would steal it.

I wish I had purple eyes and silver hair.

You get purple eyes and silver hair, but you die of lead poisoning from Chinese dye.

[acon11]

...but you got to make your own wish!

Well, whatever you wish for...um...I corrupt it.

I wish I could just do forensics all the time.

[rawrCooper]

You can do forensics all the time, but they wouldn't let you go to nationals because you're too old.

I wish my keyboard would come alive and type my thoughts for me.

[BrutalViking]

Your keyboard will type your thoughts but then they will be posted on 4chan.

I wish I could date Ke$ha.

[DavidSSabb94]

You can date Ke$ha, but the whole time she'll secretly be cheating on you with Mick Jagger.

I wish I could have one million US dollars.

[rawrCooper]

You can have one million US dollars, but then the FBI will hunt you down because you would be wanted for stealing from a bank.

I wish I had a healthy, tame giraffe. (Try and corrupt that! Ha! :])

[BrutalViking]

Your giraffe gets shot by a hunter and dies exactly 4 minutes after you get it.

I wish I was a hamburger.

[psettles24]

You'll be a hamburger but you're actually a turkey burger and will always feel inferior.

I wish I had a cute green shirt.

[DavidSSabb94]

You can have a cute green shirt but it's toddler sized.

I wish my grass would magically cut itself

[rawrCooper]

You can have a cute green shirt but it's toddler sized.

I wish my grass magically cut it's toddler sized

I think you mean, "I wish my grass magically cut itself"? Rofl, how do you cut your grass toddler sized?
You can have your grass magically cut, but you will be unable to control when it cuts itself.

I wish I could obtain a lifetime supply of Dr. Pepper.

[BrutalViking]

you can have as much Dr. Pepper as you want, but every bottle will have AIDS in it.

I wish I didn't advance to final rounds at any tournament.

[DavidSSabb94]

You don't advance to final rounds, but it's because at every tournament you go to someone shows up and beats you almost to death before the finals start.

I wish I could have free gasoline for my car for the rest of my life.

[allgiants20]

You have free gas for life, but it is all poured on you along with your complementary stash of free lit matches for life.

I wish I had a statue made in my likeness completely out of Boston creme.

[CLT787]

You can have a statue out of Boston Creme, but its a century past its sell-by date

I wish I had a jet

[rawrCooper]

You can have a jet, but it doesn't work.

I wish my mom would stop nagging me.