GAMETOPIA

[nirorivers6]

lets play a game called riddles/ brainteasers.

lets start out easy.

You are a pilot. THe plane can carry 17 first class passengers. 35 Second Class Passengers. 3 of the first class passengers have green eyes. 10 of the second class passengers have brown eyes. Chewie has checkered neon blue eyes. What color is the pilot's eyes?

[KY Acid Trip]

Brown eyes, cause my eyes are brown and i'm the pilot. :lol:

Simple. :D :D :D

The one who makes it sells it.
The one who buys it doesn't use it.
The one who's using it doesn't know he's using it.
What is it?

[flyfarfromhere]

a coffin.

i feel like these things just aren't as fun written down instead of spoken. well, the coffin riddle was fine, but the first one was simple because you can easily look back to the beginning and see that you're the pilot. if it's spoken, the point is that by the end, most people would have forgotten about the first line.

ahem.

a man wanted to enter an exclusive club but did not know the password that was required. he waited by the door and listened. a club member knocked on the door and the doorman said, "twelve." the member replied, "six " and was let in. a second member came to the door and the doorman said, "six." the member replied, "three" and was let in. the man thought he had heard enough and walked up to the door. the doorman said ,"ten" and the man replied, "five." but he was not let in.

what should have he said?

[MatT Unlimit3d]

"three", because the password is however many letters it is the said number was.

I don't have a decent riddle, I just wanted to take this answe. :oops:

[KrispyKreme]

nice one, matt.

You've been walking through the woods for hours. It's raining, it's dark and cold and you're very hungry. Suddenly, you come across a cabin in the middle of the woods. You walk in the door and it's pitch black. All you have with you is a single match. You look around the room and as your eyes get accustomed to the light, you notice that there is a candle, an oven, and a fireplace. Keep in mind it is cold and dark and you are hungry. What do you light first?

[jman255]

Is this a strike anywhere match? Did the match get wet in the rain thus voiding it of its use?

[KrispyKreme]

you light the match first... we're assuming the match is still good. way to think jman.

[KY Acid Trip]

I'm going to take a guess and say....

THE CANDLE! Because you can use the candle to light the oven and fireplace?

[KrispyKreme]

no, KY... you light the match first... jman was right.

[jdcongresscapt]

A judge sentences a man to death. To carry out the sentence, the man must enter one of three rooms, of his choosing. The first room contains a poisonous gas that would destroy his innards. The second room is filled with heavily armed men. The third room contains lions who haven't eaten in a year. In which room would the man be safest?

[Chewie]

Third room. Hungry lions become dead lions eventually (like say, after a year?) :P

What can run but never walks,
has a mouth but never talks,
has a head but never weeps,
has a bed but never sleeps?

[Aelfric5578]

A river.

More people have probably seen this than not...

This thing, all things devours, birds, beasts, trees, flowers, gnaws iron, bites steel, grinds hard stones to meal, slays kings, ruins towns and beats hign mountains down.

[jdcongresscapt]

Heheheheheh



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Time


A box without hinges, key or lid.
Yet golden treasure inside is hid.

[justine]

An egg.

I got this one from NPR a really long time ago.

During some war long ago (let's say the civil war, okay?) all the northern soldiers were using the thick cloth helmets. However, because the helmets provided very little protection, the northern hospitals were getting clogged up with all these wounded soldiers. To try and fix this problem, the army outfitted all the soldiers with metal helmets. However, instead of the hospitals becoming LESS full, they got even MORE full. Why?

[jdcongresscapt]

Just a guess: the wounded were given the metal helmets OR weren't removed for the new wounded soldiers.

supposing that I got that one right...

Alive without breath,
As cold as death,
Never thirsty, ever drinking,
All in mail, never clinking

[Chewie]

A fish (although, biologically, they do have to "breathe"...they need oxygen, they just don't obtain it via LUNG...or...in breathes...<_<)

Justine? I'm guessing JD wasn't right. Wanna help us out?

[justine]

Yeah, JD was not right. Okay here's a hint:

Picture two soldiers, one with a cloth helmet, one with a metal helmet. A bullet is shot straight at both their heads. What happens to each soldier?

[nirorivers6]

oooh ooooh! Pick me Pick me Pic---- ahem... right... er....

[nirorivers6]

the soldiers with the metal helmet gets like a concussion from the power of the bullet... or dead soldiers don't go to hospitals... they go... somewhere else... like Silent Hill... :twisted:

[nirorivers6]

in case that was right...

There is a cliff in the Outback of Australia, near the Bwana River with the height of 3,597 feet. The cliff is perfectly perpendicular to the ground, and forms a perfect 90 degree angle. This cliff is renown for even the most expert climbers and spelunkers ability to surmount it. (i.e. no one has ever climbed it, and for our purposes no one can or ever did) Yet somehow, at exactly 2,189 feet, there is a cabin with two dead people in the cabin.

Explain the situation.

[nirorivers6]

i meant inability.

[Chewie]

You have an edit button, Niro. Also, there's no way that was right.

Niro:
Why couldn't just climb up to that height, and build the cliff there?
OR
The cabin isn't ON the cliff, it's elsewhere.

Justine:
The bullet bounces of the metal and kills another clohted solider? Metal hats = multiple dead cloth soliders per shot?

[nirorivers6]

thanks about the edit.

Although clever those answers are incorrect.

The cabin is on the cliff.

Meanwhile, I think of other things about them soldiers.

[nirorivers6]

the soldiers didn't feel like wearing them?
they had bright colors?

hooey, I have nothing but wild stabs.

[Chewie]

The reason you have an edit button, sir, is to prevent double posting.

[nirorivers6]

oh. sorry.

I use the power of EDIT!
I'm sticking with dead people don't go to hospitals. Because if you get shot with a cloth helmet on your dead, but with the metal, there is a possibility for life, but you will most likely come out injured, thus going to the hospital, and since death are being traded for injuries the hospital is therefore fuller/busier.

[justine]

Sorry Chewie, niro was right! Less people were simply killed by the bullets when they got metal helmets, and were injured instead. Therefore there were more injuries to take care of in the hospital.

Hmm, niro, was it a cabin of an airplane? Like an airplane with two passengers crashed into the cliff, killed the two people inside, but somehow got wedged into the cliff so it stuck?

[tobnactress]

assuming justine was right... (which i think she is; i had that same answer)

My timpani play a rhythmic song,
With hammer on anvil I play along.
Down my canal no ship sets course,
And I have a stirrup that fits no horse.
What am I?

[nirorivers6]

very good Justine and yay to myself about that riddle

oh yeah...

it's an ear.

[justine]

woohoo! I'm glad I got that one!

A magician was boasting one day at how long he could hold his breath under water. His record was 6 minutes. A kid that was listening said, "that's nothing, I can stay under water for 10 minutes using no types of equipment or air pockets!" The magician told the kid if he could do that, he'd give him $10,000. The kid did it and won the money. Can you figure out how?

[KrispyKreme]

Gillyweed...? (sorry, had to throw in the Harry Potter reference)

[justine]

ha ha ha... no.

[justine]

(This is Antonia- tobnactress- but I'm using Justine's computer)

hehe! he was standing under a bucket of water. but i bet he could do it for more than ten minutes....

using only two 2's and as many mathematical symbols or operations as you want, make five. you have to use both 2s, but no more than two of them.

[Chewie]

(sqrt((.2)^-2))

GOSH, that was tough! Let's go with something easier!

How many months have 28 days?

[jdcongresscapt]

Twelve. Some have a little more, but every month does have, at least, twenty-eight days.

Someone else wanna think up a riddle?

[jman255]

I got one.

You're a car and you take a right turn, you see a red building and realize you are bankrupt.

[KY Acid Trip]

Monopoly !!! :lol:

[tobnactress]

holy crap chewie! i'm so impressed you figured out the puzzle! i couldn't figure it out, so i posted it.

[tobnactress]

Antonia already used my account, so now I'll use hers. (this is Justine)

Okay, here's a riddle:

A man was found murdered on Sunday morning. His wife immediately called the police. The police questioned the wife and staff and got these alibis:
The Wife said she was sleeping.
The Cook was cooking breakfast.
The Gardener was picking vegetables.
The Maid was getting the mail.
The Butler was cleaning the closet.

The police instantly arrested the murderer. Who did it and how did they know?

[nirorivers6]

The maid. Mail doesn't come on Sundays.

These are some tough puzzles.

Alright...

A hadeharian was a chirotonsor, but filipendulously from cataglottism due to his vesthibitionist and tibialoconcupiscent tendencies in regard to his adelphirexia. This cacoethes put him in the mulligrubs. Preantepenultimate. (joke ignore last word.) This mytacist nelipot took part in vigesimation.

What two things are in danger from the aforementioned man?

[Aelfric5578]

A hadeharian was a chirotonsor, but filipendulously from cataglottism due to his vesthibitionist and tibialoconcupiscent tendencies in regard to his adelphirexia. This cacoethes put him in the mulligrubs. This mytacist nelipot took part in vigesimation.

Translation: (Now I've found your source, but I think you may have put some words in the wrong parts of speech.)

A [Person who constantly uses the word '****' when speaking] was a [barber], but [suspended from a single thread] from [kissing with the toungue] due to his [flirtatious-displaying-of-undergarments-by-a-woman] and [lascivious-interest-in-watching-a-women-put-on-stockings] tendencies in regard to his [adulterous desire for his nephew]. This [bad habit or insatiable urge] put in him [a state of depression]. This [excessive-using-of-the-letter-M] [person who walks without shoes] took part in [the act of killing every 20th person]

Based on that it seems that there are number of thing in danger.
The hair he cuts Women in their underwear His nephew Every 20th person he sees

Now assuming all that is correct...How is a raven like a writing desk?

There actually are several answers.

[KrispyKreme]

It isn't!!! hahaha!

Someone's been watching wayyyy too much Alice in Wonderland.

[Aelfric5578]

Because Poe wrote on both.
Because they both come with inky quills [inkwells]
Because you cannot ride either one of them like a bicycle.
Because there's a B in both and an N in neither.

[nirorivers6]

There is a row of five houses, each having a different colour. In these houses live five people of various nationalities. Each of them nurtures a different beast, likes different drinks and smokes different brand of cigars.

Use all of the following facts to unlock the answer.

The Brit lives in the Red house.
The Swede keeps dogs as pets.
The Dane drinks tea.
The Green house is on the left of the White house.
The owner of the Green house drinks coffee.
The person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds.
The owner of the Yellow house smokes Dunhill.
The man living in the centre house drinks milk.
The Norwegian lives in the first house.
The man who smokes Blends lives next to the one who keeps cats.
The man who keeps horses lives next to the man who smokes Dunhill.
The man who smokes Blue Master drinks beer.
The German smokes Prince.
The Norwegian lives next to the Blue house.
The man who smokes Blends has a neighbour who drinks water.


sooo...

Who has fish at home?

P.S. Please don't cheat by going on-line.

Supposedly only 2% of the population can get this right, but forensicators are a smart bunch so I figure the percentage is higher.

[KY Acid Trip]

The German has the fish at home... Hah i did one of those chart thingys we learned in like 7th grade.

[jdcongresscapt]

A king gets his priceless ring stolen in the middle of the night. The police are quasi-mentally challenged, and round up three random people, one of whom is the thief.
The first, a witch, says: "I was flying my broom under the full moon."
The second, some other chick, says: "I was out walking in the rain."
The third, some pirate-dude, says: "I was out counting the stars."

WHo is the thief?

[testtest]

the second person stole it. both the others say that they were out and about in a clear night, but she says it was raining. since one of them has to be lying, it is her.

[jman255]

There was a green house.
Inside the green house there was a white house
Inside the white house there was a red house.
Inside the red house there were lots of "babies"
What am I?

[nirorivers6]

a watermelon.


A fellow encountered a bear in a wasteland. There was nobody else there. Both were frightened and ran away. Fellow to the north, bear to the west. Suddenly the fellow stopped, aimed his gun to the south and shot the bear.

What colour was the bear?


If you don't know, this may help you: if the bear ran 3.14 times faster than the fellow (still westwards), the fellow could have shot straight in front of him, however for the booty he would have to go to the south.

[xxLusciousZechxx]

White.

Quick question, though.

Are these all random *** things you have memorized/written down or are you searching for these online?

[nirorivers6]

I feel like a dork... I just know these...


NEW!

What's balck and white and red allover?

[Chewie]

A (object that is black and white) in a (situation that is extremely harmful, causing blood loss).

Objects:
-Nun
-Zebra
-Penguin
-Interracial Marriage
-1920's movie
-Electronic Microscopic Image
-Halle Berry
-Referee Outfit
-Railroad Crossings

Situations:
-a war, fight, or other physical conflict
-revolving door
-fireworks warehouse
-Iraq
-Tobacco, Alcohol, and Firearms Convention
-Knife Show
-Rodeo


For best results, insert a generally non-violent situation that is specifically harmful to the aforementioned object, i.e., Klan Meeting for the Interracial Marriage.

This has been "Humor Analysis" with Chewie. Stay safe and stay funny!

[tobnactress]

When the math student went on spring break, who was she looking for?

[justine]

Math jokes, Antonia? Come on, don't pull a Ms. Alimneti (sorry about the spelling) on us!

BETTER :D riddle:

You are on an island in the middle of a lake. The lake is in a remote part of the country and there has never been a bridge connecting the island to the mainland.

Every day a tractor and wagon gives hay rides around the island. Puzzled as to how the tractor had gotten onto the island, you ask around and find out that the tractor was not transported to the island by boat or by air. Nor was it built on the island.

Explain how the tractor got there.

[Chewie]

The tractor was a mule (?)

Also, I wanna know the answer to to tobn's!

[justine]

Nope. And you'll have to wait for tobnactress's answer, she only gets back from dance at 10:30.

[Aelfric5578]

I doubt it, but is the island connected to another island which is connected to the mainland?

[justine]

No. It's a real island (i.e. not connected to anything). Okay, here's a hint: What are the three stages of water?

[jman255]

I knew this already...There was ice surrounding it. That's how the wagon got there.

[tobnactress]

I'm back!!!!!
It's a tan-gent! get it? hehehe

[chelsea]

I don't have a riddle but I have a joke:

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to have *** with him for the first time.

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had *** before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and ***.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!" The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

Rather juvenile and long, but I think it's funny!!!

[Chewie]

I'm back!!!!!
It's a tan-gent! get it? hehehe

Tobn: Yes. A Tan-Gent. A Tan Gentleman. Truly, the ROFLcopters are in full force. *exasperated sigh*

Justine: The mule answer was correct. And, I think, better. :P

Chelsea: I agree with your final sentence.

[tobnactress]

whoa, chewie, that math joke was hilarious! i don't know what you are on, but that is one of the funniest jokes known to mankind. (according to my math teacher)
okay, here's another math joke (this one's better, i promise!)

Q: What is the most erotic number?
A: 2110593!
Q: Why?
A: When 2 are 1 and don't pay at10tion, they'll know within 5 weeks whether or not, after 9 months, they'll be 3.
ps. tobn isn't my name, it's a fancy play on words (to be an actress)

[Chewie]

Okay, I'm not even sure that one had any funny in it. You can't just PUN a buncha numbers! I need to have a word with your math teacher. I mean, that's not even erotic...that's...that's scary!:P

Also, I'll be happy to address you by whatever name you'd like...if...you tell me a name to address you by. I kinda gathered that "Tobn" wasn't your given name. :P

[justine]

Hey, I thought that was a funny joke!

By the way, tobnactress's name is Antonia (she already posted it so I'm sure she won't be mad that I gave out her name online or anything).

Back on topic:

A boy was at a carnival and went to a booth where a man said to the boy, "If I write your exact weight on this piece of paper then you have to give me $50, but if I cannot, I will pay you $50." The boy looked around and saw no scale so he agrees, thinking no matter what the carny writes he'll just say he weighs more or less. In the end the boy ended up paying the man $50. How did the man win the bet?

[Aelfric5578]

The man wrote "Your exact weight" on the piece of paper?

[justine]

Oui oui mon ami! Got a riddle?

[Aelfric5578]

Let me see if I can remember it correctly...

There is a river. On one side of the river, there is a zoo keeper, a tiger, a goat, and a head of cabbage. There is one raft that can only the zoo keeper and one other thing. He wants to get all four things (including himself) to the other side. However, there's a problem. If he leaves the Tiger and the Goat alone, Tiger will eat the Goat. If he leaves the Goat and the Cabbage alone, the Goat will eat the Cabbage. How does he manage to get everyone to the other side of the river?

[nirorivers6]

he lets the goat eat the cabbage and the tiger eat the goat... that way everybody gets across :D

[Aelfric5578]

You mean a la` Russian Nesting Dolls. Not quite.

[Jesus]

Leave the cabbage and Tiger. Take the goat. Make another Trip. Take the Tiger. Last trip, take the cabbage.

You didnt say he couldnt take more than one trip. And Tigers are carnivores.

Also Goat+Cabage < Tiger as far as weight goes so it doesnt make sense.

[chelsea]

Um, he takes the Tiger and the Cabbage across and then goes back to get the goat?

[chelsea]

oops, didn't see that last post...

[ria]

Leave the cabbage and Tiger. Take the goat. Make another Trip. Take the Tiger. Last trip, take the cabbage.

but that still leaves the tiger and the goat alone on the other side while he goes to get the cabbage.

i used to know this one. i really did, i swear.


Edit: i looked it up and then felt really dumb, b/c i did know that. but i won't say it since i cheated.

[tobnactress]

Okay, I'm not even sure that one had any funny in it. You can't just PUN a buncha numbers! I need to have a word with your math teacher. I mean, that's not even erotic...that's...that's scary!:P

Also, I'll be happy to address you by whatever name you'd like...if...you tell me a name to address you by. I kinda gathered that "Tobn" wasn't your given name. :P

yeah, justine already said my name was antonia, but it was just awkward to see tobn. i don't care if you call me tobnactress or antonia or that girl; doesn't really matter.

my math teacher didn't give me that one. she's like a hundred, and it would be really awkward. but i think it's mildly amusing at least.

[justine]

You take the goat across. Leave it, come back. Take the tiger across, leave it, take the goat, come back. Take the cabbage across, leave it, come back. Take the goat across. PROBLEM SOLVED!

New riddle: Two convicts are locked in a cell with a dirt floor. There is an unbarred window high up in the cell. No matter if they stand on the bed or one on top of the other they can't reach the window to escape. They then decide to tunnel out. However, they give up with the tunneling because it will take too long. Finally one of the convicts figures out how to escape from the cell. What is his plan?

Okay, it said this was an EASY puzzle, but I thought it was kind of hard, so I'll give you a hint: Think about ALL the materials they have to work with, and how they can be arranged.

[nirorivers6]

build a mound of dirt to reach the window?

[justine]

Wow I'm impressed, that took me so long to get! Yep, congratulations niro, you're right! Got a riddle?

[KY Acid Trip]

I can slash but I have no knife, I can dash but I have no legs, I can pound but I have no hammer, I can star but I have no stage. What am I?

[justine]

Oooh! Oooh! I know! A keyboard!

Here's a (in my opinion) hard one:

Three-fourths of a cross
then a circle complete.
Two semi-circles with a perpendicular meet.
Add a triangle with a dash
that stands on 2 feet,
Two semi-cicles,
and a circle complete.

What word am I?

[KY Acid Trip]

Something that i hope nobody here does becaues they are CANCER STICKS.

Tobacco

[justine]

Very Good!!!

New Riddle:

With pointed fangs it sits in wait,
With piercing force its doles out fate,
Over bloodless victims proclaiming its might,
Eternally joining in a single bite.
What am I?

[ria]

sounds vampirish or batty.

[justine]

nope.

[Chewie]

sounds vampirish or batty.

Vampires and bats need victims with blood.

but "car-crushing machine" sounds a bit too wordy. So I don't know either.

[Aelfric5578]

It's not a stapler, is it?

[justine]

You guys don't deserve hints. So figure it out yourselves.

But btw, it's nothing gruesome. Like no vampire bats or car-crushing-machines etc.

[xxLusciousZechxx]

Something that i hope nobody here does becaues they are CANCER STICKS.

Tobacco

At least I KNOOOOOW how I'm gonna go!

[ria]

It's not a stapler, is it?

sounds like a good guess to me. i'm bad at these things.

[Cinderella]

If it's not a stapler, a fork maybe?

[justine]

It's not a stapler, is it?

Ahh, wait! I think we posted within a minute of each other and I didn't look at my post so I didn't see that! AELFRIC WINS!!!!!!! Sorry!

Okay, here's a new one:

A horse is tied to a 15 ft. rope and there is a bail of hay 25 ft. away from him. Yet the horse is able to eat from the bail of hay. How is this possible?

[tobnactress]

The rope isn't tied to anything/ it is tied close to the hay.

[TheModernEgg]

A man leaves his apartment on the 10th floor for work every morning.
When he comes home after work, he only goes up to the 5th floor and walks the other 5.

HOWEVER, on rainy days, he goes all the way to the 10th floor after work,
WHY?

[Cinderella]

He's a midget! He can't reach the button for 10 unless he has an umbrella.

[Chewie]

Please tell me that's not the real answer. It's based on the assumption that all midgets use umbrellas. Or that ANYONE uses umbrellas on rainy days.

[Megan]

It is, or at least it should be. I've heard that one before. :P

[Cinderella]

I'm pretty sure that's the right answer - my cousin told me a similar riddle YEARS ago, so now whenever we're together and someone tells a riddle we all answer BECAUSE HE'S A MIDGET before the riddle's finished

I'm terrible.

[TheModernEgg]

yeah... I know another few, but they all have really long answers that are impossible to guess. It is the answer Chewie... I hate midgets, what can I say? (not true)

[nirorivers6]

I am always there.
I am almost everywhere.
I may be considered abusive because anyone who hangs around me too much often becomes sick or in pain.
I also like to help people trying to find their way.
Who am I?

[jdcongresscapt]

My guess is the sun

[Chewie]

Or air. Or water. ...? They all work...but sun is the best, I'd say...

[nirorivers6]

yeah its the sun

[KY Acid Trip]

That could be sun or stars.

[jman255]

That could be sun or stars.Eh, the sun is really the only star that can harm us on earth.

[Aelfric5578]

George, Helen, and Steve are drinking coffee.
Bert, Karen, and Dave are drinking soda.
Using logic, is Elizabeth drinking coffee or soda?

[NFox]

Coffee, because she has two E's in her name.

Assuming correctness...

Complete this sequence:

1
11
21
1211
111221
312211
13112221
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Nick Fox

[Aelfric5578]

1113113211


If you cross out all unnecessary letters in the following string of letters, a logical sentence will remain. Can you see it?

AALLLOUGNINCEACELSSSEANRYTELNETCTEERS

[carl olson]

A logical sentence

[nirorivers6]

What is round, small and everchanging?

[ria]

coins! :D

[Dern]

This ones pretty easy...

What dries as it gets wetter?

[ria]

a towel.


why should you never tell secrets on a farm?

[nirorivers6]

because that's where they grow the stuff to slaughter and make whoopers? Because there is a lot of BS you might step in?*

After writing all this i realize the irrelvance they have to the riidle.

[Aelfric5578]

Okay so I googled the answer. It's been too long since someone posted a good riddle. Not that mine's necessarily great, but hopefully whoever answers it will have an even better one.

Based on a joke I heard a few days ago:

So, there's this seven year old, and he has a pet bunny rabbit. One day the rabbit gets sick so he brings it to the vet. "Do you think you can take a look at him?" So the vet goes into the back room and brings out a cute little puppy. He sets the puppy down next to the rabbit and the two animals play for awhile. Then the vet takes the dog back into the back room. The boy hears some horrible noises comming fromt he back room. The vet comes out holding a cat that clearly did not want to be disturbed. It was clawing at his arms to the point where blood was starting to come out. The vet brings the cat as close to the rabbit as possible without letting the crazed feline actually harm it. The vet then brings the cat back into the back room.

"Your rabbit is fine." says the vet. "That'll be $200."

What was the boy actually paying for?

[flyfarfromhere]

a rabid (rabbit) cat scan?

[Aelfric5578]

That's only half the price (and rabbit - rabid) wasn't originally part of the joke. $100 for a CAT scan and $100 for the Lab tests. Get it?

Okay. Your turn.

[nirorivers6]

haaha that'd be great if that is the answer! is it? oh by the way, what's the answer to the farm and lies?

[Aelfric5578]

oh by the way, what's the answer to the farm and lies?

Oh yeah, I forgot,

Because the corns have ears, the potatoes have eyes, and the beans talk.

[nirorivers6]

lol that's so bad :shock:

[flyfarfromhere]

haha, i kinda zoned out while reading about half of the cat scan/lab test thing. started paying attention again when he brought the cat out.

i don't know what's already been done, but here's one:

what is broken when you name it?

[nirorivers6]

a code? a password?

[Aelfric5578]

silence.

I don't have another one right now, someone else will have to come up with something.

[nirorivers6]

i learned this one at GMIF... hmmm it might be kinda inappropriate... er... well if someone doesn't like it ill delte it.

What did Helen Keller say about the cheese grater?

[CaptainBee]

The author was sharp?

It was the bloodiest thing she ever read?

She was all tore up over it?

I'll not post a riddle because I'm not sure about my answer, and want to leave that riddle open for discussion.

[Meho]

CB is close,

"most violent thing she's ever read" (heard it before)

There are 2 ducks in front of 2 other ducks.
There are 2 ducks behind 2 other ducks.
There are 2 ducks beside 2 other ducks.


How many ducks are there?

[Chewie]

3, diagonally.

x..
.x.
..x

Where x = duck

[Meho]

sorry Chewie, you forgot the "in front of 2 ducks, behind 2 ducks, and beside 2 ducks" part

[Aelfric5578]

Four ducks in a 2-by-2 grid. Right?
o o <- these two are in front of the other two
o o
^
these two are beside the other two

[CaptainBee]

I'd actually agree with Chewie, even if it's not the correct answer. It does fit the parameters if the ducks turn, as well as the POV . . . and nobody said they couldn't.

Now, one of you post a riddle.

[Meho]

it doesn't CB,

TWO ducks in front of TWO ducks?
TWO ducks behind TWO ducks?
TWO ducks beside TWO ducks?


i thought it was right at first when i saw it...and it was very clever, but it's not right.


NEW RIDDLE
I am the black child of a white father;
A wingless bird, flying even to the clouds of heaven.
I give birth to tears of mourning in pupils that meet me,
and at once on my birth I am dissolved into air.

[Chewie]

it doesn't CB,
TWO ducks in front of TWO ducks?
TWO ducks behind TWO ducks?
TWO ducks beside TWO ducks?
i thought it was right at first when i saw it...and it was very clever, but it's not right.


Yes it is.

A..
.B.
..C

Two ducks (A & B) are in front of two ducks (B & C) [A is in front of B, and B is in front of C)
Two ducks (B & C) are behind two ducks (A & B) [B is behind A, and C is behind B]
Two ducks (A & B or B & C) are beside two ducks (B & C or A & B) [A is beside B and C, B is beside A and B, and C is beside A and B...in fact, you could phrase this as three ducks beside two ducks]

If it's not, could you at least tell us why and what the correct answer is?

[Meho]

ehh...i guess you could do it that way....if you wanted to :)


aelfric got the answer that i had

[Chewie]

NEW RIDDLE
I am the black child of a white father;
A wingless bird, flying even to the clouds of heaven.
I give birth to tears of mourning in pupils that meet me,
and at once on my birth I am dissolved into air.

And I'm guessing that's smoke?

This is kinda silly and easy, but it's the best I came up with:

A doctor is madly in love with a bus driver's wife. The bus driver must take a week-long trip for his job. Before he leaves, he gives the wife exactly seven apples. Why?

[Meho]

yea it was smoke

ahh, that made me smile when i realized what it was


An apple a day keeps the doctor away



They don't feel pain,
No sorrow, nor greed.
They have no anger,
No hatred, nor greed.
Who are they?

[nirorivers6]

Policy Debators?

[justine]

Policy Debators?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I actually had to spit out my tea when I read that!

Umm, well, it could be a lot of things. Pencils, gum, easers, you name it. Plus, you said sorrow twice.

[CaptainBee]

Actually, he said 'greed' twice . . .

I have no idea what the answer is.

[Meho]

haha i like policy debators.

but no, none of those are correct

[CaptainBee]

Okay, Meho. We have no idea what the answer is. The riddle is to vague.

Martyrs?

[Meho]

dead people

[nirorivers6]

What's inside can not be seen,
what's outside can't be touched,
what's around it can't be smelt,
but if you do you will not be able to see, touch or smell anymore.

What am I?

[Aelfric5578]

It's been awhile, but is it the sun?

[nirorivers6]

actually i forget, but yeah i guess the sun makes sense...sure new one!

[nirorivers6]

if you're not billy the christ you must be....

[nirorivers6]

the anti-christ. not really clever, more of a forensics allusion.

It has four legs, then two, then three. What is this?

[nirorivers6]

in another attempt to revive this... the answer is man: baby, adult, old with cane.

So...how about them Yankees?

[Josiahzacks]

So...how about them Yankees?

yankees suck

[nirorivers6]

yeah i'm a sox fan.

[mooseontheloose]

Hate to break up the yankee's talk, but...

What's black and white and red all over?

And to give you a hint, it's probably not one of the ones you've heard before.

[nirorivers6]

A (object that is black and white) in a (situation that is extremely harmful, causing blood loss).

Objects:
-Nun
-Zebra
-Penguin
-Interracial Marriage
-1920's movie
-Electronic Microscopic Image
-Halle Berry
-Referee Outfit
-Railroad Crossings

Situations:
-a war, fight, or other physical conflict
-revolving door
-fireworks warehouse
-Iraq
-Tobacco, Alcohol, and Firearms Convention
-Knife Show
-Rodeo


For best results, insert a generally non-violent situation that is specifically harmful to the aforementioned object, i.e., Klan Meeting for the Interracial Marriage.

This has been "Humor Analysis" with Chewie. Stay safe and stay funny!

is it within those parameters?

[mooseontheloose]

No, but it could be retold within those parameters.

[nirorivers6]

erm... i have no idea...curses. Does anyone have an idea?

[mooseontheloose]

Here's a quick hint because there are a lot of possibilities on this one: the object of interest recently came up in the GAMETOPIA forum.

[nirorivers6]

yankees?

[mooseontheloose]

yankee's player yeah.

[nirorivers6]

why did the chicken cross the road?

[loveandpeace]

I HAVE BROWN EYES, BECAUSE I'M A PIMP =]

[nirorivers6]

is that a response the road crossing poultry riddle?

[cseg]

to go watch A finals round of HI DUH lol

[nirorivers6]

Alright, what's as hot as the sun, but also as cold as snow?

[mooseontheloose]

Is this one of those ones where the answer is "nothing"?

[nirorivers6]

no.

[redfox045]

is it snowfire

[nirorivers6]

yes...mixing riddles and trivia together.

[redfox045]

so I got it right?

[nirorivers6]

indeed, your turn.

[redfox045]

sweetness.

Okay, a guy is at a bar and becomes horribly drunk. He constantly tries to walk home, but always falls flat on his face. The next day he wakes up on a sidewalk. Yet he still cannot walk. Why?

[cseg]

is the guy like Lt. dan and has no legs?

[redfox045]

no

[redfox045]

you're being too specific

[insightful]

Is he paralyzed

[redfox045]

not entierly. Think thinging about what u'd be in if u were though

[cseg]

footless?

[Aelfric5578]

He's in a wheelchair.

[redfox045]

Aelfric is correct

[cseg]

o i see, any more new ones?

[Aelfric5578]

Sorry...it was my turn to post the next one. Here you go:

A man is found lying dead, face down in the middle of the desert.

He is wearing a backpack.

His ribs are crushed.

The post mortem shows that he died, suddenly, 2 months ago.

Yet no one has crossed the dessert for 3 months.

What happened?

[nirorivers6]

parachuter.

[Aelfric5578]

yup. you're turn.

[nirorivers6]

Two brothers were in a spat. The brother's parents exhuasted from the arguing, decided to put an end to it. They placed them on a newspaper so that they couldn't touch.

How was this accomplished?

(There are several possible answers and I don't like coming up with puzzles so much as solving them, so bear with me.)

[ce.extemper]

Was it that the parent's slid a newspaper under a door, each sibling standing on each side?

[nirorivers6]

yup. your turn.

[ce.extemper]

Alright cool :) This one shouldn't be too hard ;)

Four men were in a boat on the lake. The boat turns over, and all four men sink to the bottom of the lake, yet not a single man gets wet! Why?

[nirorivers6]

its dry? or even better...a lake of lava!

[ce.extemper]

Its a full lake of water

[nirorivers6]

they are in an enclosed part of the boat.

[ce.extemper]

nope :P

[nirorivers6]

they are wearing something that keeps them form getting wet.

[ce.extemper]

well kinda lol

[nirorivers6]

they are wearing those underwater diving suits.

[ce.extemper]

not at all

[nirorivers6]

dang. i'll try in the morning.

[ce.extemper]

lol alright, I'll check on it then :P