All Your Duo Are Belong To Us

[Chewie]

Hiya. I'm Chewie. I'm the mod of Duo.

I think you guys know the drill. Just don't be stupid or obnoxious to the point of upsetting me or anyone else, and all shall be cool. 8)

But just to clarify for those of you who may be wondering what is "upsetting" material...

---Flooding (i.e., unnecessary back-to-back posting, etc.)
---Cussing to the point that the reader groans in agony
---Being overly rude to other posters to the point where even MY feelings would be hurt
---Trash-talking for it's own sake...I'm all about yelling out our differences...but make sure they have some reasoning behind them (DUO SUCKS=No | I think duo is really stupid because=Ok)
---There may be more later...but we're all well-behaved kids...I'm sure we'll all be groovy.

8)

[ria]

i just love the poll choices there. wonderful for us indecisive people. :D

[Chewie]

I felt that there may be a wide variety of opinions, and I wanted to provide everyone a chance to express their feelings on Duo through the poll. :D

[Dog Pound]

Ack, reviving a dead thread is usually annoying, but I had to post off topic saying that I know what game that Quote is from, but I can't recall the name.

"All your bases are belong to us!"

Anyway, I'm starting Duo Interp this year and hoping to enjoy it.

[Chewie]

Ack, reviving a dead thread is usually annoying, but I had to post off topic saying that I know what game that Quote is from, but I can't recall the name.

"All your bases are belong to us!"

Anyway, I'm starting Duo Interp this year and hoping to enjoy it.

Oh, dear. Poor, impressionable youth. :P

The quote, which is actually "All your base are belong to us!" is from the game Zero Wing, for Sega Genesis. It had such a hysterically bad translation of the opening dialouge that an entire internet fad was created around it.

Here's the entire transcript:

In A.D. 2101

War was beginning

Captain: What happen?
Mechanic: Somebody set up us the bomb.
Operator: We get signal.
Captain: What!
Operator: Main screen turn on.

Captain: It's You!!
Cats: How are you gentlemen!!
Cats: All your base are belong to us.
Cats: You are on the way to destruction.
Captain: What you say!!
Cats: You have no chance to survive make your time.
Cats: Ha Ha Ha Ha ....

Captain: Take off every 'Zig'!!
Operator: You know what you doing.
Captain: Move 'Zig'.
Captain: For great justice.

And there you have it. Hope this answers any questions about the All Your Base Reference. :)

[Juan DelaCruz]

Alright, I would like to clarify something that you lesser mortals do not seem to grasp. If you were a true Duetist, you would know that Duo, also known as Duet, has two people in it, making it one of the the few partner events, an illustrious catagory that includes Parli, Policy, and Public Forum, events who's names all, iironically, begin with the letter P. If you truly love Duo, you would not say a phrase so inane as "All Your Duo are belong to us". One peson can never own Duo. Only Two. Like me and my partner, for example. We did the Sound of Silence. It was really really good. We were third in the state of california, which is a big state. Really big. so take it from me, Duo king of Bakersfield.

[Chewie]

I'm going to assume that you're acknowledging, albeit, tongue-in-cheek, that you're sounding like a complete...rude person. Since you're sounding so obviously GAUDY, and calling a mod a "lesser mortal" to boot.

The phrase is much greater, and much more popular than the world of fo.net, perhaps even forensics itself. Please read the post above yours, or even better, google the phrase "all your base are belong to us".

Secondly, your post DOES NOT MAKE SENSE. The word "us" is a possessive PLURAL pronoun referring to at least TWO people. The phrase cannot refer to a single person, as it is grammatically impossible.

Sorry for sounding so prudish, but, well, don't be rude. Especially to the mod. Cause we can find out where you live, and can eat your carrot cake.

[Cinderella]

Cause we can find out where you live, and can eat your carrot cake.


Ouch!

[Juan DelaCruz]

Mister moderator, I am sincerely sorry if I somehow insulted you with my last post. My use of the term "lesser mortals" was merely a joke, perhaps innappropriate, that reinforced my far superior knowledge and experience in the field of Duo/Duet/Conjoined Interp, as it is affectionately called in Alaska (a lesser state). If you feel so inclined, please post your duo qualifications. If not, I must humbly request that you relinquish your title as Duo Moderator and allow me, Juan DelaCruz, Third Best California Duetist in 2004 , to take over your illustrious position.

[sassafrassz]

Dude.. you have THREE posts. 3.

[Juan DelaCruz]

It is ironic that you chose to say three because I was in fact third in the state of California in Duo Anyways, after this post is complete, I will have four posts. Besides, as you have already pointed out, there are things much more important than your stupid little forum here on forensics online. You have yet to show me any of your accomplishments as a Duetist, and until you do so, I will be forced to assume my superiority as a Duo Competitor, despite my lack of posts and despite the fact that I am, in fact, too old to compete iin high school forensics.

[Jimbo Jones 2017]

Mmmmmmmm...Modesty. :roll:

[flyfarfromhere]

i'm excited to see what he'll say to that! mmm, this is like a bad soap opera.

oh you bombastic fool, if i may borrow the interprod quote, art before pewter. there are more important things to 4n6 than being third in the state.

i believe all your arrogance are belong to us.

[xxLusciousZechxx]

I will be forced to assume my superiority as a Duo Competitor, despite my lack of posts and despite the fact that I am, in fact, too old to compete iin high school forensics.

Chewie's Qualifications:
He's better than you.
He owns this forum.
He's ****ing Chewie.
He rocks so much Duet ***, it's ridiculous.

P.S. - I could/would kick your *** in Duet, too.


-Zechariah Leal, Best Duetist in the state of Texas, 2004

[Ryan]

I'd like to congratulate Juan on getting hired by Lodi high school to coach... oh wait, he isn't a coach there. Then why is Juan using an IP address known as 'intergate.lodiusd.k12.ca.us' aka Lodi High School, even though he is from Bakersfield and also has his own user name known as 'tgjdlc' with 183 posts. By the way, user Spaceman (who has admitted being from Lodi) is the only other person to use that same IP address. The site penalty for impersonation such as this is an IP ban and possible coach contact. Anyone interested?

[spaceman]

I'm sorry for my belated response; I was just alerted of this unfortunate situation this weekend. I am indeed from Lodi High and am, in fact, the president of the forensics program there. Furthermore, the user "Juan DelaCruz" is also, in fact, from Lodi High, and is not, obviously, Mr. DelaCruz, better known as tgjdlc. I would like to apologize for the actions of one of the first years on my team. They were, apparently, somewhat offended by something that he said to them at the UOP tournament , but I understand that their actions are in no way justified. If the moderator would accept my humble apologies and remove the involed thread, I would be most appreciative. Rest assured that the offending individual will never post on this forum again. Thank you for your cooperation and understanding.

[sassafrassz]

Wow. So much drama!

[Chewie]

i'm excited to see what he'll say to that! mmm, this is like a bad soap opera.


(As the guy who does the voice for all the movie previews)

The time had come.
The King had been challenged.
The throne was in danger.
He must fight back.
Or lose his crown.

Can one man prove that he should lead?
Can another prove that he should NOT?

*blinks*

...

(As Neo) ...whoa.

DUN DUN DUN!

First of all, let me say, I'm glad this all came to a conclusion while I was gone, although it was quite fun to read. My response to all this...stuff...is as follows.


It is ironic that you chose to say three because I was in fact third in the state of California in Duo Anyways, after this post is complete, I will have four posts. Besides, as you have already pointed out, there are things much more important than your stupid little forum here on forensics online. You have yet to show me any of your accomplishments as a Duetist, and until you do so, I will be forced to assume my superiority as a Duo Competitor, despite my lack of posts and despite the fact that I am, in fact, too old to compete iin high school forensics.

Bwahaha...Okay, I know that the kid who typed this isn't the actual "Mr. DelaCruz" (who goes under the username "tgjdlc"), but let's address his issues with me anyway. :P

Firstly, let us point out the irony and hypocrisy of him wanting to be king of the duo forum, and at the SAME TIME, criticizing it's relevance. Seems rather silly, no? Would anyone here go in a duo round and say "Look, me and my partner kick ***, but this whole forensics thing...you have to admit, it's pretty **** stupid right?" Yeah, I didn't think so.

Second. My qualifications. I am most likely not a better duo/duet performer than whoever received third at State in CA. That's a big state, ya know, and lots of people compete there. BUT! I *was* quite good. In Duo, I placed 4th or better in every tournament I entered my senior year, save for nationals...placed 6th in State in MO, first in State Quals, 2nd at Nat. Quals (on a tiebreak). I have also placed with 7 different duo/duet/duet improv partners. Oh, and as a side note, I also placed at every tourney in HI (senior year), save for state and nats.

But whatever.

More importanly, as a qualification for a moderator position, I have been affliated with this site ever since this group was back at IE.org. Yeah, who still remembers that? Woot. I even finished with the most posts, just ahead of Jenn, before everyone moved over here, and the site was eventually shut down. Also, I have been on the internet since before that kid (the first year) was born. Literally...my dad took me in a trivia chat room based in England when I was 4 on our old 286. I've always been an internet junkie. :)



I will be forced to assume my superiority as a Duo Competitor, despite my lack of posts and despite the fact that I am, in fact, too old to compete iin high school forensics.

Chewie's Qualifications:
He's better than you.
He owns this forum.
He's ****ing Chewie.
He rocks so much Duet ***, it's ridiculous.

P.S. - I could/would kick your *** in Duet, too.


-Zechariah Leal, Best Duetist in the state of Texas, 2004

Aw, well, shucks, Zech, that's sweet of you. I would agree with the last three, without a doubt, since I am the mod of this forum...I am, indeed, Chewie...and I did, indeed, perform quite well in Duet/Duo. And I would certainly agree with the first qualification as well, in terms of comparsion versus the novice kid.


I'd like to congratulate Juan on getting hired by Lodi high school to coach... oh wait, he isn't a coach there. Then why is Juan using an IP address known as 'intergate.lodiusd.k12.ca.us' aka Lodi High School, even though he is from Bakersfield and also has his own user name known as 'tgjdlc' with 183 posts. By the way, user Spaceman (who has admitted being from Lodi) is the only other person to use that same IP address. The site penalty for impersonation such as this is an IP ban and possible coach contact. Anyone interested?

*raises hand* I would be. Nice detective work, my friend. :) Actually, since legitimate users would be banned as a result, this matter may become much more complicated. The moderators will address this issue.


I'm sorry for my belated response; I was just alerted of this unfortunate situation this weekend. I am indeed from Lodi High and am, in fact, the president of the forensics program there. Furthermore, the user "Juan DelaCruz" is also, in fact, from Lodi High, and is not, obviously, Mr. DelaCruz, better known as tgjdlc. I would like to apologize for the actions of one of the first years on my team. They were, apparently, somewhat offended by something that he said to them at the UOP tournament , but I understand that their actions are in no way justified. If the moderator would accept my humble apologies and remove the involed thread, I would be most appreciative. Rest assured that the offending individual will never post on this forum again. Thank you for your cooperation and understanding.

Well, this is very appreciated, and thank you. I'm not sure about removing the thread, as it does have some good entertainment value. :P But in all seriousness, it could serve as a good example why not to misbehave in this manner. As stated previously, I'll discuss it with the other mods and see what action should be taken.


Wow. So much drama!

Heehee...yep! Thanks for the smile guys. :) It certainly lightened my study time for Organic Chem. Go Duo!

[This is not Jenn]

To his hotness Chewie-
I believe that I have more credintinals then you to mod this forum even though I only did duo for one year (seventh grade *****es!) and i dont even speak english regularly. Please resign so I can power trip.

lovejenn

Spaceman, you are silly. Go eat some cheese.

[Chewie]

To his hotness Chewie-
I believe that I have more credintinals then you to mod this forum even though I only did duo for one year (seventh grade *****es!) and i dont even speak english regularly. Please resign so I can power trip.

lovejenn

Spaceman, you are silly. Go eat some cheese.

Jenn brings up an EXCELLENT point.

I *am* hot.

Your proposal shall be taken into consideration, Jenn. Thank you.

[This is not Jenn]

To his hotness Chewie-
I believe that I have more credintinals then you to mod this forum even though I only did duo for one year (seventh grade *****es!) and i dont even speak english regularly. Please resign so I can power trip.

lovejenn

Spaceman, you are silly. Go eat some cheese.

Jenn brings up an EXCELLENT point.

I *am* hot.

Your proposal shall be taken into consideration, Jenn. Thank you.

your welcome andgood night.

[tgjdlc]

whoa,
ok so here is the deal...i didn't even know that this was going on until...oh maybe three minutes ago...i just logged on for the first time in 3 days and all this was going on. First...if i offended that kid in any way at UOP it was probably because he was being an arrogant little freshman...I next wouldn't find my third place in duo to be any type of qualification for a title such as duo/duet king if i must. Third, i thoroughly found this whole little chat to be entertaining. I laughed the whole way through. I feel bad that someone would develop that much hate for me that they would take the time to write such non-sense. At the same time i'm actually quite flattered. The sad thing is i don't know who the **** this kid is. All i can say is, good luck in the future of ever achieving half of what i did. and sisnce you know me so well, i'm sure i don't have to write down all of my trophy history.
THE REAL "JUAN DELACRUZ" LOGGING OUT.

[Dasy*]

HA! I AM THE QUEEN OF DUO/DUET INTERP! 8)

<<<< Total joke


I am The REAL Juan Delacruz's EX duo partner. I am the female half of the 3rd in state duo. hahahahahaha, this is so funny! for someone to actually take the time out to become someone else! KUDOS! great entertainment! Actually, Juan just called me a few hours ago and told me everything, and this is quite humorous! AND THEN....to get caught, amazing! sheer brilliance!
Thank heavens for basaltrock, or else there would have been two Juans.

I personally, can barely handle one..
lol


Side note (bottom note rather)
"Mr. DeLaCruz" isnt even in school anymore, thats what makes this even funnier! To waist precious time to immitate another COMPETETOR, to perhaps make them look bad, or maybe get them into some sort of trouble is one thing, but I mean, come on now, spaceman, if you are still around, dude, there was no point...unless of course your goal was entertainment.

[Jesus]

Its *****en off time

First...if i offended that kid in any way at UOP it was probably because he was being an arrogant little freshman....

Or, like many others, he just thought u were a ****** to everyone. JUST A THOUGHT, JUST A THOUGHT.


I next wouldn't find my third place in duo to be any type of qualification for a title such as duo/duet king if i must.

right. He did, afterall get 4th in the final round :wink: :wink: 8)


At the same time i'm actually quite flattered. The sad thing is i don't know who the **** this kid is. All i can say is, good luck in the future of ever achieving half of what i did.

YEAH....Lodi kid! Good luck on picking HALF of the amount of overdone pieces that jaun has! Good luck on getting to FINALS in CALIFORNIA! Good Luck on not breaking HALF as good as he did at nats! Good Luck on being HALF as arrogent as him, even when he wasnt THAT good. Good Luck on being HALF as good as not having anything to do so you come back and "coach" and critisize everyone else and screw good pieces out of finals cuz of bad judging! GOOD LUCK LODI KID! You DONT KNOW THE HALF OF IT!


...write such non-sense

nonsense it tottally one word...no hyphen neccesary. s-sorry...unneeded hyphens bother me.


Thank heavens for basaltrock, or else there would have been two Juans.

I personally, can barely handle one..

hahahahahahahaha....no seriousely.

...wow, i feel better about myself

nothing bad about "Dasy*"....i like her

[flyfarfromhere]

nonsense it tottally one word

gotta love how you're making fun of his spelling "non-sense" while you misspell "totally" and type "it" in place of "is." that makes loads of sense.

let's not turn this thread into a total hate-fest. if you don't like someone, there's no need to be an *** to that someone on a message board in front of the general public. you can take it up with him on your own time. doing this just makes you look like an ***.

let's not be hatin', people.

[Chewie]

let's not be hatin', people.

Oh, it's just Jesus bein' Jesus.

If there's anyone to hate, it's those **** Polacks...**** dirty Polacks...grr...with their incredible Christopher Walken impressions...grr...

(10 pts. to the first person who gets that reference)

[Viet Moneys]

YEAH....Lodi kid! Good luck on picking HALF of the amount of overdone pieces that jaun has! Good luck on getting to FINALS in CALIFORNIA! Good Luck on not breaking HALF as good as he did at nats! Good Luck on being HALF as arrogent as him, even when he wasnt THAT good. Good Luck on being HALF as good as not having anything to do so you come back and "coach" and critisize everyone else and screw good pieces out of finals cuz of bad judging! GOOD LUCK LODI KID! You DONT KNOW THE HALF OF IT!
Touche, Chris Reinacher. Touche.

[Dasy*]

nothing bad about "Dasy*"....i like her

:D

[Chewie]

Does anyone like me? Sometimes I feel so lonely...like a lost puppy...

http://www.terrible2z.com/meamtokka/meamtokka_files/lost-pup.jpg

[Jesus]

STOP FISHING FOR COMPLIMENTS

[Cinderella]

Chewie I like you. And just for the record, I like Jesus too. Lets all sit in a circle and sing Kumbaya.

[Chewie]

Does anyone like me? Sometimes I feel so lonely...like a lost puppy...

http://www.terrible2z.com/meamtokka/meamtokka_files/lost-pup.jpg


STOP FISHING FOR COMPLIMENTS

I just...get so lonely...all alone...with no one to talk to. Nothing but me and my puppy. My three-legged puppy that lost its leg after saving a baby from getting hit by a truck. Which subsequently hit me, shattering my glass of United Way Donations into my eyes, blinding me. This same glass also lacerated the liver of a nearby jogger, who was going to donate his liver to my very puppy. *tear* Now the jogger has no liver, I have no sight, and my puppy is going to die of alcohol poisoning! *MASSIVE SOB*

So, really, I have no idea what you're talking about, Jesus. :P

[narcotictwizzler]

my friend had a three legged puppy, no joke. I never figured out how it lost its leg since whenever I asked he always told me they cut it off with a chainsaw as punishment for peeing on the carpet.

[Dasy*]

that goes on my list of top 5 saddest things I have ever heard...

[ria]

no! no! no more sadness! ria cannot be sad anymore!

*happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts.....fluffy pink bunnies.....**sudder...pink**....happy thoughts....just keep swimming......mmmmmmmmmmm......chocolate.....* there. all better now. kind of.

[flyfarfromhere]

i got lost in your multitude of "happy thoughts" and accidentally read, "fluffy pink chocolate." needless to say, i was a little grossed out. then i read it again (or tried to, rather) and read, "swimming bunnies." that was some fun imagery.

anyway, i can't read tonight.

[ria]

ha! thank you, whatever your name is! i just laughed out loud. fluffly pink chocolate? and swimming bunnies! i needed that.

[flyfarfromhere]

name's noah! nice t'meetcha! glad to brighten up your night a bit. i'm sitting here trying to write a personal literacy essay...and failing miserably.

[ria]

well, noah, thank you for the laughs. yeah, i just finished doing all the homework that involved the computer, and now i'm procrastinating, kind of, from going to do an outline for american government. i don't know that it's really procrastinating, b/c i don't have to have it until friday...but still...
a personal literacy essay? what, do you have to explain how well you can read?

[flyfarfromhere]

to some extent. it's basically a memoir of how i learned to read and write and my development of these skills up to the present. i'm a little more than halfway done. just finished with 5th grade and i don't plan on going into immense detail on each grade in middle school and high school (like i did for elementary).

[ria]

sheesh...now, i like essays well enough, they're something i do fairly well, i think, but i don't know if i could make an essay about that. i mean, i've been reading since i was about three. the only book i remember learning from was "the monster at the end of the book," a sesame street thing with grover. loveable, furry old grover! it was wonderful.

*yawn*

i'm sleepy. and it's almost ten thirty. i think i should go to bed now. goodnight, speechies of america!

[flyfarfromhere]

yeah, i spent about a week gathering information from my parents and siblings. it's amazing what some of these people remember of which i have absolutely no recollection. i think it's actually coming along pretty well, but at this rate, i'd be lucky if i finish by midnight, and that's pushing it.

[xxLusciousZechxx]

DuchessTwigz.

BarfGreen.

IM each other if you must converse.

[ria]

the only reason it was just us is because nobody else was on here at the time. if anyone else had shown up, they would have been more than welcome to participate in the conversation.

[xxLusciousZechxx]

http://www.forensicsonline.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=2977&sid=a499d155bbd87d7351eaa4b28e787057

[flyfarfromhere]

forgive me if i'm wrong, but aren't forums generally for conversing with others? anyone else could have joined in had they wanted to. is it really the end of the world if a little space is taken up by a few extra posts? don't be a jerk, man.

[xxLusciousZechxx]

Yes, that's what the Off-Topic forums are for.

Not the Duo Forums.

[flyfarfromhere]

again, sorry for continuing this, i'm just a bit confused. you say that's what the off topic forums are for...but you contradict yourself in this post (http://www.forensicsonline.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=2977&sid=a499d155bbd87d7351eaa4b28e787057). how can you say that it's what the off topic forum is for but that it's not allowed in the off topic forum? seems like a catch 22 to me.

[xxLusciousZechxx]

Conversing with people is totally cool.

Carrying on what would be an IM conversation on a message board is just ****ing stupid.

There's a difference.

I'm done with this thread because it's pointless.

[ria]

you shouldn't curse.

allow me to reiterate: nobody else was present on the boards at the time. if anyone had been there, it wouldn't have been a conversation between me and noah, it would have been a normal forum conversation.

[flyfarfromhere]

seriously, man, it's the end of the world. no need for profanity.

[xxLusciousZechxx]

I'm so glad you guys think I shouldn't swear.

That's like telling an addict that they shouldn't smoke anymore...

But hey, if it makes you feel like more of an upright model citizen for saying it, by all means, do so.

Ria, I'm not stupid, I know why you guys were carrying on the conversation, but allow me to reiterate:

It's ****ing stupid.

Fly, bro, if it were the end of the world, there would most definitely be a need for profanity.

I think Chewie should lock this thread because it always leads to arguing and such.

[Chewie]

OHMIGODTHEDRAMA!

Ok...guys...come on.

Do you guys want me to call the "wah-mbulance"...would you like a "wah-burger" and some "french cries"?

Cause that's what you're getting.

I'm not going to shut down this thread because I have a lot of pride in having such a long, ongoing sticky. BUT! Everyone here needs to just calm down and follow these instructions. Do not do the following:



---(1)Flooding (i.e., unnecessary back-to-back posting, etc.)
---(2)Cussing to the point that the reader groans in agony
---(3)Being overly rude to other posters to the point where even MY feelings would be hurt
---(4)Trash-talking for it's own sake...I'm all about yelling out our differences...but make sure they have some reasoning behind them (DUO SUCKS=No | I think duo is really stupid because=Ok)
---(5)There may be more later...but we're all well-behaved kids...I'm sure we'll all be groovy.


ta-da!

Now, Ria I think you and Fly are a bit guilty of number (1). Just talking about your day with one another has nothing to do with the topic. Now we all do this a little bit, but carrying on entire conversations that have nothing to do with the topic should be reserved for the off-forum section, like Zech said.

Secondly, (2). Ria, you and Fly have absolutely NO business telling Zech what he can and cannot say. If he did something like call us all "A bunch of cocksucking spics who eat sauteed ***** meat"...then I'd be more than willing to delete his posts. But his language is completely within context, and okay by me.

Zech...just calm down. I'll lock the thread if this keeps up. But it won't. Because we're all smart people here.

Now kiss and make up, wankers. :D

[This is not Jenn]

That's like telling an addict that they shouldn't smoke anymore...

.

thats not ****ing funny, yo.

no cussing on the boards?!?! thats like telling me not to breathe! and what about jesus?

[sassafrassz]

I used the F word in a previous post, and it was changed. Not that I care much, but why change some of the cussing if other instances go ignored?

[This is not Jenn]

I dunno, i was just cussing for the sakeof me being bored!

[sassafrassz]

Which is fine, I have no problem with it, but mine had a sorta-purpose.. whatever. I don't want to sound like I'm whining, it was just an observation.

[This is not Jenn]

Maybe it depends on who is the mod or maybe God just hates you...









im kidding.

[Chewie]

Sass, your use of the F word may have been changed because that moderator felt it was inappropiate. Rules for each forum vary from mod to mod.

[Dasy*]

how about them yankees?....

wait...was that inappropriate? It has nothing to do with duo...


Joke, total joke... laugh everyone, laugh!

[sassafrassz]

Sass, your use of the F word may have been changed because that moderator felt it was inappropiate. Rules for each forum vary from mod to mod.
It was in this forum! Thats the only reason I was confused. But no biggie :)

[Nocturne]

anyway enough of the hostility! ahh it burnsss

and daisy, the yankees suck. viva la mets. :)

just kiddinggggg


but yeah i've never done a duo...all the non-flakey-good people on my team are already taken.

[sassafrassz]

but yeah i've never done a duo...all the non-flakey-good people on my team are already taken.

I make a point of reserving my duo partners a year in advance.. I also have them sign a contract stipulating that if they miss tournaments without notifying me first (and therefore cost me a trophy), I reserve the right to make their life a living ****..

just kidding, about the contract part. :wink:

[Dasy*]

I do the same thing...I plan my duo during summer, before anyone new (incoming freshman) try to steal my partner! and they cant steal me from my partner either...
I am scared for next year though... I will be a senior, and all other current juniors on my team are extremely flaky....

[jman255]

I do the same thing...I plan my duo during summer, before anyone new (incoming freshman) try to steal my partner! and they cant steal me from my partner either...
I am scared for next year though... I will be a senior, and all other current juniors on my team are extremely flaky....

That's why you have little brothers who will be your duet partner :)

[Nocturne]

Our coach is serious about duos. We have to sign contracts now, too. It's really coplicated to get yourself out of a duo, once you sign them.

Since one of the guys for an outstanding duo from our team flaked during State Quals.

I was gonna do a duo this year, but it would have been me and my partner's 3rd event, and we didn't have the time/dedication to have a 3rd event. So we will most likely do it at non-seniors. (Where anyone who isn't a senior gets to do the piece they will do for the next year..aka check out the upcoming compotition)

wow i ramble.

[Jesus]

I dont know what to do for next year.

Frshman year my partner was a Senior
Last year my partner was a soph as well, but now his carreer took off in LA so he has no time for duo.
This year my partner will be a senior.

Next year.... :? uh...yeah...maybe iLL just go with another event?

[Theatreguy]

I am not really a huge fan of duet...... or duo..... if i had to pick it would be duet...... But i dont know.... I dont love anyone on my team exsept people that i wouldnt ever do a duet with..... I wish you could do a duet with someone from another school..... that would be quite fun

[sassafrassz]

My current partner joined the team to be my duo partner. Thats how much he loves me (in a friendly way). But now he's winning all the time, so that helps too :)

[Nocturne]

Jesus, I've heard about your duo partner in other topics, what does he do? Would I know him from anywhere?

and also...what is the difference between duet and duo. To me, it sounds just like another word to use for duo. Forgive me, us Cali folk aren't educated on such things.

[sassafrassz]

I think Duet is different depending on where you are, but you CAN touch/look at each other, but you can only have two characters.. or something like that. Also, props are allowed (usually two chairs and a table are provided)

But we don't have Duet either, so don't take my word for it!

[This is not Jenn]

Back in the day (seventh grade) my duo partner was my bestest friend, then we got in a huge-*** fight but our coach made us keep doing the duo. Then at the next tournament, we won! But I think this was because our piece was Final Placement so the added anger helped.

Now that I think about it Final Placement is a heavy piece for 12 yearolds to be doing.

[Captainhook]

For those who have done both duet and duo, what are some the creepy differences you've experienced?

[xxLusciousZechxx]

In Texas...

Duo (follows NFL rules exactly): No visual contact, physical contact is allowed (yes, it is legal), ten minutes, any amount of characters you want.

Duet: Visual and physical contact are allowed, twelve minutes, two chairs, any amount of characters you can handle.

At UT, a lot of people that did Duet from out-of-state didn't really understand it too well... They'd set their chairs off to the side and pretty much do a Duo, occasionally looking at each other.

I think Duet is much more fun.

Because you can hit each other.

[Dasy*]

I do the same thing...I plan my duo during summer, before anyone new (incoming freshman) try to steal my partner! and they cant steal me from my partner either...
I am scared for next year though... I will be a senior, and all other current juniors on my team are extremely flaky....

That's why you have little brothers who will be your duet partner :)


I dont have a little brother :(
I do however have a little sister who is a freshman this year...but she is an alien and despises forensics...

[Jesus]

Jesus, I've heard about your duo partner in other topics, what does he do? Would I know him from anywhere?


His name is zac efron. He's on the WB show Summerland with Jesse Mcartney (or however u spell it) and the hot mom from full house. He's been on ER and has done stuff with Disney and Nicalodean...and he was in popstar magazine, which i think is the funniest thing ever. We did a piece that did well on the national circut last year, but he couldnt make it to nationals cuz he was filming a Lifetime original movie called Mirical Run. It was rediculous...i think he owes me 5000 dollars, just because it could've happened...

...not that iM bitter

[theatrix04]

In Illinois,
Duet is split into Humorous Duet and Dramatic Duet, 8 minutes in length, table and two chairs, no props, no physical touching of clothing (ie jacket, belt and so on - has created disqualifications if done), and only two characters. Also no standing on table or chairs (someone got hurt a couple of years ago).

DUO Interp is only for NFL competition. It is 10 minutes in length, either humrous, serious, or combination, any number of characters, no table, chairs, or props. And no direct eye contact or physical contact.

Three very different events or at least two which are really different.

[This is not Jenn]

For those who have done both duet and duo, what are some the creepy differences you've experienced?

Once I saw a 11 year old do "Bye Bye Baby"
THATS ABOUT ABORTION...11 year olds cant even HAVE KIDS

ewwwww

ok that was about DI but whatever! Its Christmas!

[Chewie]

For those who have done both duet and duo, what are some the creepy differences you've experienced?

I had to actually kill a partner with a knife instead of just mime'ing the stabbing action...just kidding!


[Once I saw a 11 year old do "Bye Bye Baby"
THATS ABOUT ABORTION...11 year olds cant even HAVE KIDS


You obviously don't know the right 11 year olds.

Oh, that was bad, that was real bad. I'm going to **** for that one. I should just backspace over it now. But I'm not. Hmm.

I just wanted to pop in and say "Way To Go" on keeping the best sticky ever going. This is truly my gem of pride on the internet. This and the multimillion dollar porn empire.

[Jesus]

and we owe it to the juan de la cruz scandle

[Chewie]

Yeah, thank goodness for idiot underclassmen...*glares at Jesus :D*

[ria]

yeah, chewie, that was terrible.

so, in celebration of keeping alive an awesome sticky:
DUO/DUET ROCKS MY SOCKS OFF!
my partner and i practiced today, and we did really well, so i'm really happy! yay! even though it was only practice. i still like doing well. yay!

[Chewie]

What was terrible? My comment or that JuanDelaCruz stuff? Because in my opinion, both are awesome. :P

[ria]

the 11-yr-old comment.

[This is not Jenn]

even though chew's comment was icky..a couple girls at my sisters middle school had kids and they were 11.
thats so **** sick. back in my day we didnt even kiss boys, let alone sleep with them

[Cinderella]

Oh I know! Recently on the 6th grade Sea Camp trip these two kids were caught having ***, and when my class went it was SO SCANDALOUS that we were playing spin the bottle (cheeks)

[Chewie]

I know. The 11 year olds getting it on are the RARE exception. *Didn't have first kiss until 14*

[tgjdlc]

i still think it is really funny that my name is being brought up...that whole incident was pretty awesome...

[sassafrassz]

so, in celebration of keeping alive an awesome sticky:
DUO/DUET ROCKS MY SOCKS OFF!
my partner and i practiced today, and we did really well, so i'm really happy! yay! even though it was only practice. i still like doing well. yay!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I completely agree. You don't even know how much I love my duo, and partner. I could do my duo all the time, 24/7. I'm so insane, but its the most fun thing I've ever done. And I never get bored!! Every round seems so different, and its so hard to keep from not laughing while I'm up there! I wish there were words to describe how I feel. But they're aren't.

ANDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDd I'm done.

[ria]

chewie wrote: *Didn't have first kiss until 14*
i've got you beat: 17. yeah, life was so much more innocent when we were kids...i miss it.

yes, i could do speech in general 24/7. in fact, i kind of do. speech is my life. we just had a tournament yesterday, and i'm already counting down the days to the next one. *six days! six days! lalalalalala!* but though story is my baby, and still my favorite event, i think i might actually prefer doing my duo at the moment. my partner is a wonderful, wonderful person, and we work really well together. we're both dedicated enough that practice isn't a problem for us. we practiced today for a long time, until we couldn't think of anything else to do to our piece.

[Chewie]

I think Ria just does debate so that she has an excuse to be the top poster on this site.

[Chewie]

Sass, your use of the F word may have been changed because that moderator felt it was inappropiate. Rules for each forum vary from mod to mod.
It was in this forum! Thats the only reason I was confused. But no biggie :)

Aha. I have discovered the "problem". Whenever someone tries to post the word "Fuc*", the phbBB(or whateva it be) automatically changes it to "tooters". On this board and every other.

[ria]

tooters? that's kind of amusing.

you think i do debate? huh? and i don't set out to be the top poster. chad has been the top poster since forever. i simply post when i have something to say. i just usually have a lot to say.

[Chewie]

*rubs temples* Fine, whiner, you just do FORENSICS for etc etc.


and i don't set out to be the top poster. chad has been the top poster since forever. i simply post when i have something to say. i just usually have a lot to say.

Uh-huh. Which explains why you take up entire PAGES of the forum with COVERSATIONS WITH ONE PERSON.

There's nothing wrong with being a posting whore, Ria, just so long as you admit it. I just wouldn't mind having more than one person respond to my posts every now and again.

[flyfarfromhere]

the real reason no one replies to your posts, chewie, is because no one likes you.

...naaah, i keed, i keed. *love to chewie*

[Chewie]

Nah, it's all right...I'm used to it, with a face like this (http://www.anniescostumes.com/6854010.jpg) :P

Side note: How the **** does searching "Freddy Kruger" in google give you porn? Is there anything that does NOT result in porn? Huh, Google? Is there? ANYTHING?!

[sassafrassz]

Nope. Its awful. If I wanted to see porn, I'd search for "porn". or maybe "porno" or something. Ha. Stupid Google. Has anyone been to www.googlism.com ? Its awesome.

[Chewie]

I just wanted to continue to tradition of tangential duo topics on this one thread by stating that I would LOVE to do a duo with Sass sometime. Sass=hawt. Jenn...I'm so sorry.

[sassafrassz]

I just wanted to continue to tradition of tangential duo topics on this one thread by stating that I would LOVE to do a duo with Sass sometime. Sass=hawt. Jenn...I'm so sorry.

Well thank you! I'm very flattered.

I just have to say that I love duo more than anything else IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. It really is the best thing ever invented. I'm so sad that this is my last year of HS speech.. hopefully I get to do it for 4 more years! And then I wouldn't be surprised if I end up being a speech coach. (I'm already working on a duo for my little sister (will be a freshman) and the 2004 Washington State Duo Champ for next year.. I'm like the cupid of Duo partners. its gunna ROCK.)

[ria]

i look forward to coming back and helping to coach my high school's team after i leave. and judging, too. that'll rock.

[Chewie]

I just did that, actually, for the conference tournament this weekend. I mostly berated the kids who should have been doing interp, but were doing extemp instead. Other than that, I just asked for advice on dental schools with the face of a pedophile. (http://www.forensicsonline.net/forums/viewtopic.php?p=39513#39513)

[Chewie]

I got a little bored (http://img179.exs.cx/my.php?loc=img179&image=aydabtu9um.png)

Everyone else! You can make duo pics too! Just make them on MS Paint (make sure their under 1 MB), and host them at www.imageshack.us

...or wherever you'd like. :)

[veronica]

ok.. i watched Duo semi's yesterday and I saw the funniest Duo ever! It was "Titanic Abrigded", the Duo later went on and won first.
The second one that I liked was by Foy/Johnson, it was even better than Foy's last year piece about Wal-mart (which rocked also!)

I'm not saying some didn't deserve to make it to semi's...but some of 2 of the groups in the semifinals room i watched made me wonder. I am still disgruntled that Maria Wallace/Rachel WIgginton didn't advance to Duo semifinals, from what i saw they should of been in there! Along with Bailes/Morgan who were robbed.

[Chewie]

You're in the wrong thread, sweetheart. We have no idea what the **** your talking about.

[Jesus]

i concur

[ria]

true, but i appreciate the support.

[Chewie]

Do you and Veronica need instructions on how to post in the correct threads? Stop not making sense, please.

[ria]

actually, i was agreeing that she had posted in the wrong place. then i said that in spite of that, i appreciated her support, b/c she mentioned being disgruntled that i (maria wallace) and my duo partner did not make semifinals at state.

[Chewie]

Ah, remember back in the day...those days? Remember those days? I think they were Tuesdays.

During those Tuesdays, I resolved to make this the most popular sticky on the boards, but there are still stickies in the South Forum with more.

So I thought I'd post this (http://www.allyourbasearebelongtous.com/flash/), at least, to show you were the title of this sticky came from.

Come on duo'ers. Let's make this sticky popular. For Great Justice!

[jman255*]

Good Lord, not that again! Hahaha

[tgjdlc]

Ah what the ****, just to keep it going...

I really dont think any of you understand...not even Jesus (which could refer to Chris or the actual Jesus Christ himself)...i am by far the best person for DUO ever...never mind that Whitney Schaffer from Eagan made it to Finals two years in a row at Nationals...never mind that Logan had two finalists this year at Nationals...I am undoubtably the kind of DUO because i got third in the State of California...yes Chris and his partner did beat us in Final round, but because we handed their asses to them in the Third round, they lost the place to us overall. No we didnt place at Nats...but you know what...**** Nats, i was too good for that too. Bow down to me...the real Juan De La Cruz...Bwahahahahahah

PS...so just kidding...i was just reading through this cause it has been a boring night, and thought this was entertaining.

[tgjdlc]

i made a mistake in my posting...whitney made it two years in a row at nationals, but also three times over all in finals in DUO...but still, bow down *****es...

[sassafrassz]

Well in THAT case...

I'm cool too, because I ALSO placed 3rd at State.

Yes, Oregon IS a State.

[Chewie]

Yes, Oregon IS a State.

LIES! Oregon is just a very large suburb of Boise, everyone knows that.

[Pulp Fictionist]

whats 2 places better than 3rd? I dunno, but that's the place I got at state....hoes

[Pulp Fictionist]

wait, just to prevent a trevor haynes occurance...I'm just kidding, none of you all are hoes....i hope

[sassafrassz]

Most of the time, I'm not..

[Pulp Fictionist]

lol, nothing wrong with not drinking too much

[AfRiCaNHI]

Yes, Oregon IS a State.

LIES! Oregon is just a very large suburb of Boise, everyone knows that.

Funny, people say that Delaware is a suburb of Philly D.

[sassafrassz]

Yes, Oregon IS a State.

LIES! Oregon is just a very large suburb of Boise, everyone knows that.

If anything, we're a suburb of Seattle. Boise sucks.

[Chewie]

Yes, Oregon IS a State.

LIES! Oregon is just a very large suburb of Boise, everyone knows that.

If anything, we're a suburb of Seattle. Boise sucks.

You'll get there one day, honey. *Pats Alex and Oregon on the back.*

[sassafrassz]

Yes, Oregon IS a State.

LIES! Oregon is just a very large suburb of Boise, everyone knows that.

If anything, we're a suburb of Seattle. Boise sucks.

You'll get there one day, honey. *Pats Alex and Oregon on the back.*

Shut up. Oregon has lots of cool things.
Like mountains.
And Beaches.
And Lakes.
And Forests.
And..
um..

ME!

[Chewie]

Yes, Oregon IS a State.

LIES! Oregon is just a very large suburb of Boise, everyone knows that.

If anything, we're a suburb of Seattle. Boise sucks.

You'll get there one day, honey. *Pats Alex and Oregon on the back.*

Shut up. Oregon has lots of cool things.
Like mountains.
And Beaches.
And Lakes.
And Forests.
And..
um..

ME!

Yes, when one citizen is one of the state's greatest features, I think the state's lacking in DRAW.

[sassafrassz]

Oregon has the deepest lake in the US (7th deepest in the world):

http://www.calstatela.edu/faculty/acolvil/volcanos/crater-lake.JPG

The city I live in, Bend, has a volcano within it's city limits.

The nation's most photographed lighthouse is the Heceta Head Lighthouse located in Lane County:

http://www.oregon.com/images/experience/hecetahead2.jpg

Oregon and New Jersey are the only states without self-serve gas stations.
(That's right, someone pumps my gas FOR ME!)

We've also got the Oregon Trail.. quite possibly the most famous trail ever.

The world’s tallest barber shop pole stands in Forest Grove, Oregon.

We're also the only state with an official State Nut. (No, not ME, the Hazelnut!)

Our State Birthday is Feb 14 - Valentine's day!

Eugene was the first city EVER to have one-way streets.

And my personal favorite RANDOM OREGON TRIVIA:

"Whorehouse Meadows in Harney County was exactly that during the days of the Old West. Setting up facilities under a canvas tent in the secluded meadow about a mile east of Fish Lake they would then meet up with cattle and sheep herders. In the 1960's the Bureau of Land Management issued a recreation map renaming the meadow, “Naughty Girl Meadows” But in 1971 the Oregon Geographic Names Board took strong objection to the change and brought their argument before federal arbiters. After ten years the old name was restored in 1981."

[Pulp Fictionist]

LMAO, whorehouse meadows

[sassafrassz]

Yes, I believe that that face alone means Oregon > Any Other State.

[Chewie]

Oregon has the deepest lake in the US (7th deepest in the world)

So, you know, those mobsters can REALLY get rid of Joey Cantkeepasecret...what else do you need DEPTH for?


The city I live in, Bend, has a volcano within it's city limits.

Because when I'm looking for a town, I want the one closest to a POTENTIAL NATURAL DISASTER.


The nation's most photographed lighthouse is the Heceta Head Lighthouse located in Lane County:

How exactly do they measure that? Do you have spies in the lighthouse monitoring everyone who's taken a photograph? Does EVERY lighthouse have these spies? And if so, where can I apply?


Oregon and New Jersey are the only states without self-serve gas stations.
(That's right, someone pumps my gas FOR ME!)

Well, aren't you special. Instead of just being harrassed by the annoying hicks when you pay for your doritos...they get to get their grimey hands all over your car too.


We've also got the Oregon Trail.. quite possibly the most famous trail ever.

Wow. A trail. That's...that's nice dear. Except LEWIS AND CLARK'S trail would be JUST AS FAMOUS if it wasn't for the computer game.


The world’s tallest barber shop pole stands in Forest Grove, Oregon.

Yahoooooooooooooooooo....


We're also the only state with an official State Nut. (No, not ME, the Hazelnut!)

...ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo....


Our State Birthday is Feb 14 - Valentine's day!

Oregon is for LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVER'S!


Eugene was the first city EVER to have one-way streets.

Is that something to really brag about? Really?

And my personal favorite RANDOM OREGON TRIVIA:


"Whorehouse Meadows in Harney County was exactly that during the days of the Old West. Setting up facilities under a canvas tent in the secluded meadow about a mile east of Fish Lake they would then meet up with cattle and sheep herders. In the 1960's the Bureau of Land Management issued a recreation map renaming the meadow, “Naughty Girl Meadows” But in 1971 the Oregon Geographic Names Board took strong objection to the change and brought their argument before federal arbiters. After ten years the old name was restored in 1981."

Whorehouse Meadows. God Bless Oregon.

But seriously, I <3 Alex and Oregon. I drove through there once. I think I saw a tree. And if anything, Alex should be slamming Missouri, because we have REAL problems...like...incest...and meth...and more executions than any state save WV and TX.

[sassafrassz]

Oregon has the deepest lake in the US (7th deepest in the world)

So, you know, those mobsters can REALLY get rid of Joey Cantkeepasecret...what else do you need DEPTH for?

For NESSIE! Duh.



The city I live in, Bend, has a volcano within it's city limits.

Because when I'm looking for a town, I want the one closest to a POTENTIAL NATURAL DISASTER. well its not active. And we set fireworks off it on the 4th.



The nation's most photographed lighthouse is the Heceta Head Lighthouse located in Lane County:

How exactly do they measure that? Do you have spies in the lighthouse monitoring everyone who's taken a photograph? Does EVERY lighthouse have these spies? And if so, where can I apply?
Erm, that's top secret info. Sorry.



Oregon and New Jersey are the only states without self-serve gas stations.
(That's right, someone pumps my gas FOR ME!)

Well, aren't you special. Instead of just being harrassed by the annoying hicks when you pay for your doritos...they get to get their grimey hands all over your car too.
I'm sure you love getting gasoline all over yourself. I know I do (when I travel out of Oregon)



We've also got the Oregon Trail.. quite possibly the most famous trail ever.

Wow. A trail. That's...that's nice dear. Except LEWIS AND CLARK'S trail would be JUST AS FAMOUS if it wasn't for the computer game.
Yea, except Lewis and Clark ALSO ended up in OREGON.



The world’s tallest barber shop pole stands in Forest Grove, Oregon.

Yahoooooooooooooooooo....
Alright, that's not so exciting.



We're also the only state with an official State Nut. (No, not ME, the Hazelnut!)

...ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo....
yea, yea.



Our State Birthday is Feb 14 - Valentine's day!

Oregon is for LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVER'S!

Acctually, it's "Oregon: We Love Dreamers."



Eugene was the first city EVER to have one-way streets.

Is that something to really brag about? Really?
No, not really.



"Whorehouse Meadows in Harney County was exactly that during the days of the Old West. Setting up facilities under a canvas tent in the secluded meadow about a mile east of Fish Lake they would then meet up with cattle and sheep herders. In the 1960's the Bureau of Land Management issued a recreation map renaming the meadow, “Naughty Girl Meadows” But in 1971 the Oregon Geographic Names Board took strong objection to the change and brought their argument before federal arbiters. After ten years the old name was restored in 1981."

Whorehouse Meadows. God Bless Oregon.

Hey, don't knock it until you've tried it! (justttttttttt kidding)


But seriously, I <3 Alex and Oregon. I drove through there once. I think I saw a tree. And if anything, Alex should be slamming Missouri, because we have REAL problems...like...incest...and meth...and more executions than any state save WV and TX.

Exactly.

[Chewie]

I propose a state battle, with each of us representing our respective states. Anyone else is free to join.

The method of the battle and prizes and so forth are all TBD.

[sassafrassz]

BRING IT!

But what if there are more than one person from certain states?

[Chewie]

First come, first serve.

State Battle Representatives:

Missouri---chewchewtrain64
Oregon---sassafrassz

Title of the thread has been changed.

[jman255*]

Texas--xxLusciousZechxx

[xxLusciousZechxx]

Well I guess that's settled.

[Pulp Fictionist]

Me for Virginia...even though I don't really want to, since I'm from California....actually, **** it, give VA to Tuck

[Chewie]

Well, save Zech, I think everyone should volunteer themselves, but I'll try and convince Tuck.

[sassafrassz]

Yessssssssss. Oregon is going to kick all your States asses.

[Chewie]

All right, since we only have 4 states, and the boards seem to pretty light recently, I'll just go ahead and "simulate" the battles.

OREGON VS. TEXAS

The heavily favored Texas came out with a quick smothering of Oregon by throwing it's tens of millions more people on top of the scarce Oregonians. But Oregon made a suprise comeback by offering the Texans some pine-scented air fresheners to help get the smell of illegal immigrants out of their cars.

In the end, though, Tejax used it's presidential advantage, and just had Dubya nuke Oregon. In repsonse to outrage from Oregon's senators and representatives in Congress, Dubya theorized that, "Er...oops...sorry."

MISSOURI VS. VIRGINIA

The battle of the hicks took place in a barn, naturally, with a Appalachain-esque cow farmer battling against a midwestern...cow...farmer.

The battle was silly for the most part, mostly consisting of the two farmers milking their livestock and then throwing their buttermilk on their opponents. Missouri eventually won, by accident, mind you, when the entire Missouri farmer's herd accidently tipped the St. Louis arch upon the Virginia farmer.

FINAL BATTLE!
TEXAS VS. MISSOURI

Again, with Texas heavily favored, Missouri was worried about there being an unfair population/presidential advantage for the Lone Star State. However, Missouri brought in a surprise tag team partner just before the match started...KANSAS!

TEXAS VS. MISSOURI AND KANSAS!

Texas, still with the size and population advantage, quickly came out swinging with many spurs, gun holsters, and cowboy hats. ...and more illegal immigrants. Missouri and Kansas both looked overwhelmed, and it appeared the final battle would be a quick decision in favor of Tex-S.

But wait! Missouri's surprise partner came through with a surprise of it's own! Since Kansas's own natural resources were absolutely useless in battle (wheat, its own citizens...and...wheat), it used the only real asset a state like Kansas had.

Kansas attacked Texas with stupidity!

Now, Texas, being Texas, was quite familiar with the methods of stupidity, and was somewhat prepared for the coming attack. But Kansas simply overwhelmed the Lone Star state with its incredible dumbassedness.

Kansas Board of Education: Hey, Texas, what do you teach your kids in school? I bet you teach evolution, don't you?
Univ. of Texas Bio Prof.: Well, uh, yeah. It's the most logical and rational explanation that can be conceived through the scientific method of deduction.
KBE: But don't you realize it CONTRADICTS THE BIBLE?!
UTBF: Well, obviously, science and spritual faith are two separate things, but...
KBE: THE BIBLE IS RIGHT! WE MUST TEACH DA JESUS STORIES!
UTBF: Now, hold on, they're not necessairly mutually exclusive...
KBE: JEZUS STORESI!!!

And so, the entire state of Texas was mesmerized with the downright VOLUME OF KANSAS'S STUPIDITY. With the entire state held captive by the dumbness of Kansas's Educational System, they only had one hope.

The President of the United States of America.

While GWB was busy with his Pretzel-Throat therapy, he received a call from the govenor of Texas, telling him that the entire state was under a spell of stupidity brought on by Kansas's educational system.

Governor: Mr. President?
Dubya: But I like the salty ones...
Governor: er...Mr. President?
Dubya: They're so...so crunchy...and salty...that's why I like 'em.
Governor: MR. PRESIDENT!
Dubya: Oh, why...hello there, citizen. What can I do for a hard-working, non-terrorist Texan like yourself?
Governor: Dubya, the entire state of Texas is under a odd hypnotic spell from the state of Kansas! They used their completely irrational educational system to capture the attention of how our schools' teaching of evolution may contradict what's in the Bible, and now Texas Christians don't know whether to keep their kids at home from school or to renounce Christianity and become terrorists! This is a terrible dilemma that has your entire home state halted to a standstill, and we need you to do something.
Dubya: ...huh?
Governor: We need you to nuke Kansas and Missouri.
Dubya: Anything for an American citizen.

And so Dubya nuked Kansas and it's dumbass Board of Education, and Missouri too, for good measure, and Texas became the ultimate winner of the Battle of the States!

[Broskis09]

Texas is Amazing...i have to agree with Chewie...Texas does own all...Later Broskis

[xxLusciousZechxx]

Did you honestly think it would turn out any other way?

Psh.

But yeah, actually, since G. Dub used nukes, the fallout effected the rest of the fifty states (including Alaska and Canada, but that was okay, we didn't need them anyway), killing all.

So, Hawaii wins until the fallout can reach across the ocean.

Which shouldn't take more than a few years.

Plus, they can't live without all of the products from the continental US, so subtract a few months from that time of death and destruction.

[Chewie]

Did you honestly think it would turn out any other way?

Psh.

But yeah, actually, since G. Dub used nukes, the fallout effected the rest of the fifty states (including Alaska and Canada, but that was okay, we didn't need them anyway), killing all.

So, Hawaii wins until the fallout can reach across the ocean.

Which shouldn't take more than a few years.

Plus, they can't live without all of the products from the continental US, so subtract a few months from that time of death and destruction.

EVERYONE'S A WINNER!

[Broskis09]

True True...
Later Broskis

[Chewie]

By popular demand...

3rd PLACE BATTLE! OREGON VS. VIRGINIA!

Virginia brought out their greatest dairy farmer and Oregon brought out their greatest, er, lumberjack (or whatever they have over there), for this epic battle of the losers!

Oregon came out swinging first, pelting the diminutive dairy farmer with a gigantic 30-foot pine tree. The dairy farmer, not to be outdone, swung back by tying two cows together at the udders, and swinging them around a la nunchucks, pelting the poor Oregonian with dairy goodness.

And so it went on, back and forth, day after day. The lumberjack and dairy farmer fighting each other with pines trees and cowchucks, respectively. Because, really, Oregon and Virginia are both too lame to have any other notable stereotype.

Seriously, this is the worst fight ever. Tuck and Alex? Just fight it yourselves, I give up.

[sassafrassz]

So then this Lumberjack thinks "hm" and throws this.. dairy farmer into the country's DEEPEST LAKE (which is in Oregon, DUH) ANDDDDDDDDD Oregon is the best loser. Sorry Tuck/Virginia.

[Chewie]

Well, I guess Tuck just doesn't have any Virginian pride left to defend himself. OH WELL.

[Pulp Fictionist]

...If you lived here Chew, you'd understand.

[Chewie]

Heh...well, the only thing of interest between KC and St. Louis is the occaisional cow and the gas station attendant's accent.

[Chewie]

Hey, remember when we were going to make this thread the longest sticky in the forums? Hm? Anyone? Ya remember that? HINT?

[KY Acid Trip]

Wooo onto making it the biggest... although it will NEVER beat the big south topic Mooaoaohahahhaahahahaha go south!

[Chewie]

The entire South is made of incest and racism. There, I said it. So you're supporting racism, KY? How DARE you generalize like that! Not allowing blacks to vote, making people ride the back of the bus?

You should never generalize, KY. Because that's what ALL southerners do.

[KY Acid Trip]

HEY HEY HEY!!! KENTUCKY WAS SPLIT DURING THAT TIME!! SO HAH! and FYI i live RIGHT on the boarder of cincinnati, SO HAH!

[Chewie]

I was talking about the South and your support of their evil evil generalizing ways.

Is anybody catching the irony, here?

[KY Acid Trip]

Incase you don't know, im not smart, so i have NO idea what your tlaking about...

[Chewie]

See, I was using methods of generalization (saying all southerners act a certain way) to preach AGAINST generalization. I was being a HYPOCRITE.

[Chewie]

Only about 50 posts to go...

[KY Acid Trip]

50 posts for what?

[Cinderella]

Till DOOM apparently

[Chewie]

Well, one of the original purposes of this thread (I think) was to make it become the longest sticky on the site. There's one over in the South forum (Where else) that's about 200. So...you know...keep up the good...duoin'! or state battlin'! Or asking Chewie about the forumin'!

[Cinderella]

So Chewie, how's the forumin going?

[Chewie]

Why it is quite grand, Jessica, if I do say so myself, thank you for asking!

We are totally gonna break 200. In this thread, and for total posts today on the forums. The forums are coming alive again! Whee!

[Cinderella]

I'm quite pleased!

[Chewie]

Dude, jman totally just made the 200th post in the south sticky. He's so onto us. We have to post in secret!

[Cinderella]

Check out how secrety I can be!!!! Bwhahaha

[Chewie]

j00 4r3 teh Tr00 /|/Inj4!

[Cinderella]

Does that actually say something?

[Chewie]

Why yes, Jessica, yes it does. Would you like a translation?

[Cinderella]

That would be superb, thanks

[Chewie]

j00 4r3 teh Tr00 /|/Inj4! = You are the true ninja!

[Cinderella]

HAHA!!! That's awesome! Oh to know web languages with which to call people ninjas...

[Chewie]

Aaaaand SCENE! Let's...let's just leave it at that for a while. At least between me and Jessica. So I don't have to suspend both of us for being stupid.

[Chewie]

Let's start a song!

Here I go,
Here I go,
Here I go, Again!

Girls, what's my weakness?

[sassafrassz]

Umm Moulin Rouge?

[Ryan]

I believe that Chewie's weakness may in fact be... men?

[spy]

from knowing Chewie personally and seeing how he looks at us highschoolers I have been afrade....I do believe his weakness is children...

[Chewie]

Jason, I hate you. I hate you for being absolutely correct.

[Cinderella]

So that's why you still hang around Fol so much?

[Chewie]

Kettle Pot Black, sister.

[Cinderella]

#1- I still DO forensics, how bout you, hmmmmm?
#2, I'm still a freshman in college, I should still have excused seperation anxiety, whereas, well Chewie, you're kind of old.


:P

[Chewie]

1 & 2. I coach. Scene.

[Chewie]

I guess if there's a place to pad my post count, this is the thread to do it in. Hello all! Any new thoughts on whether your prefer duo or duo?

[Beau wait for it Benko]

starting a duo this year
hope it rules

[GFan]

Duo's really fun, though I've been really unsuccessful with it :[

My partner and I did "The Duet Show" by David J. LeMaster. Quite the piece.. I recommend it for novices, but it's not a very showy piece.

[Chewie]

Good God, this is an old topic.

[Cinderella]

So is your mom.

[Ryan]

OOOOHH!!! She just PwNeD yo @$$!!!

[Chewie]

So is your mom.

OOOOHH!!! She just PwNeD yo @$$!!!

You're both banned.

[Ryan]

Not if we ban you first!

[nirorivers6]

Ban Off!

This thread is the most rediculous thing ever. I just got finished reading it from the start. Absolutely weird out the wazoo.

[Interpret]

ridiculous*
heh. :lol:

[Cinderella]

I just got finished reading it from the start.

Really? I wish I had that much time on my hands

[nirorivers6]

I just got finished reading it from the start.

Really? I wish I had that much time on my hands

I wish I didn't.

[Jeddamadiah]

....I wonder if I sneak into this forum, pretend I've been posting for ages, maybe I'll be socially accepted...

...uhhh...

Hi everybody! ..... er... um.... AGAIN!!! <.< >.>